#idk why it's in purple i guess that was the only other pen color i had available

[jimkirkachu]

unicorn dog doodle

[polarfarina]

The first time I dreamt I was there, I was on the "top floor." I went up a few stairs that were grey, that kind of linoleum with the circle bubbles that always taps under your shoes, and then at the top of the stairs the floor itself was carpeted.

And I mean, like, actually even the walls had a carpeted feel. The color was a specific rusty red-orange color that was rich, and the floor and the walls were all the same color. The area was kind of small and square for a top floor, with doors lining the three walls, maybe two or three doors on each wall. Each door had a small six inch tall window inside, that had a small grill made of wavy bars between the panes. A place that felt like it was from the 60s or 70s tbh.

Notes were pinned to the walls, because the carpeting made it easy to hide the holes, and there were some purple benches (these I think my brain borrowed from the pews my theater class had in high school) occasionally along the walls as well. The lighting was mostly from lamps - there were fluorescent lights but they didn't do much.

There were display cases on both sides of the area, and what they were displaying seemed to change. Sometimes it was trophies, sometimes it was student projects. There were tall, possibly fake plants stuck in most corners. In the middle of the floor was a square balcony railing that overlooked the floor below. Though there was nothing actually hanging from the ceiling, a giant chandelier casting yellow light obscured the view of what was below. You could hear hustle and bustle down there, like how a school should be. It almost felt like looking down from the balcony of a mall, I could see through a corner that wasn't blocked and the floor down there was polished, white, and shiny.

But up here it was quiet. And that's because I was running late to class. (Doesn't that mean downstairs would be quiet too? In theory yes but this is a dream idk the logic)

I hurried on, second guessing which door I needed, and opened the right one, entering and sitting down. The room was long and narrow, but to the side; there were only two rows of tables as there was maybe six to ten feet of space between the door and the back wall, but it was probably twenty or more feet long.

The class was math, with my sixth grade math teacher who I really liked. He had taught me seventh grade math and pre-algebra. In this dream, I was late, and I didn't have any school supplies, but I also wasn't worried. This teacher said as long as I showed up, it was okay. But bring supplies next time.

And then we did class. He was still using an old fashioned projector that had a light underneath, the kind where you used clear plastic sheets and wet erase pens to write. I can't remember the actual content of the lessons but I went to several in a row in the same dream. If I remember correctly, class would end, and the students would leave, but I chose to stay behind. I didn't have anything else to be doing and I really liked the teacher so why not?

I was content, experiencing one of my favorite parts of middle school: my old math teacher (yes,really). He was a silly guy who loved to put YouTube videos on the screen, handed out candy for birthdays, and overall really knew how to be funny and genuine. He also cared a lot about kids actually understanding the material and wasn't afraid to sacrifice seriousness to get the point across. You don't really get that many teachers like that. I was content attending his class again, and the dream version of him seemed to miss me.

After visiting this wing one or two times in my dreams, I have not been back. But that's okay because I've visited other places in the school since then.

I used to have these dreams about a school, but they weren't nightmares, and it was a school that I've never been to, a building I've never been to, and it gets bigger over time

[friendofthecrows]

Posting a way more in-depth description of my alters than any of you want or need because why not

Keiko: friendliest, nicest, cutest, acts the youngest. Used to front a lot when we were hanging out with friends. Still essentially like the rest of us in that she has the same personality disorders (pointing this out because you wouldn’t guess she has ASPD but we all do. No, none of us are “more of a psychopath” or evil vs good or whatever compared to one another). She just seems more able to feel/express the positive spectrum of emotions, she hasn’t repressed it or detached herself from it as much. She/her pronouns. Aroace. Current fave thing: either MLP or stimboards

Miyuki: calm, collected, responsible, acts like a gatekeeper of the system a lot as in she’s the only one we can actually trust to moderate the rules objectively. Also has pulled people out or put people in control before. Less “control panel” access than say Jokul or I though, but probably only due to lack of practice. THE most sane one (idk how that works either) and the one with the least emotional turmoil. Used to wonder if 1. She was capable of caring about people and 2. If she actually felt any emotions at all. The answer is yes she does, she just Bottles Them Up Completely. We are taking it in faith that she feels stuff because the body cried once while she was in control. Pronouns: she/her. Sexuality: ???? when it comes to romance, but definitely ace. Current fave thing: tea, specifically a nice warming oolong like Da Hong Pao.

Yahto: (me!) people are suggesting ways to describe me and it is mean. For most of my knowledge of my own existence as a separate alter, I’ve kind of assigned myself the role of protector. I was very functional as well! Confident (bordering on insufferably arrogant), and with the level of detachment from my emotions I had at the time as well as my complete lack of fear, perfectly suited to deal with a wide variety of situations. Only if we were okay with other people thinking we’re weird because I used to have a worse filter than I have now. I experienced fear for the first time 3.5 years ago right alongside the strongest emotions I’ve ever felt and my mental health has been spiraling downwards ever since :) Also I am literally the most stubborn person you will ever meet. He/him pronouns. Anything having to do with orientation is a big question mark right now, I just know I’m probably not interested in men. I HAVE dated women but tbh I’m no longer sure if I’m even interested in them. Current fave thing: yahto.exe stopped working 38 hours of being awake ago. Uh,,,,idk sorry How about reading fzanfic to pass the time fnafic fanfic

Jezebeth (Jez): (headspace bestie! Great at writing horror poems!) Does Not Care About People but also surprisingly extremely chill. When she’s enthusiastic about something, she’s REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT but otherwise mostly just stays quiet and has a nice time Observing. People either find her really fun to be around or creepy. No in between. She went through a phase where she thought it was funny to creep people out by saying really messed up things so that probably didn’t help. Actually, DURING said phase, she single-handedly made and maintained the best in-school friendship we ever had for 4 years. Literally none of us talked to her except for Jez. She just had endless “creepy” conversation topics and Robin thought it was *amazing. * She/her pronouns, I have no idea sexuality wise simply because she does not talk about that kind of thing. Current fave thing: inking pens :)

Jokul: (sworn enemy, tried to kill myself once to take him down with us) Perfectly reasonable person realistically. Nothing particularly wrong with him. I just Do Not Like Him. Especially since for as long as I can remember, we’ve made it a game to torment each other. You see, we both hate boredom more than anything else, or at least we did when we were even younger and more naive and we’re not actually malicious, and yet foolishly prided ourselves on not being nice and also our ability to manipulate people. No, little kid me was probably not actually an expert on manipulation, we just thought we were at the time. This all resulted in us taking our boredom, pent up malice, and desire to prove we were better than one another on each other. Such a great idea (sarcastic). We did in fact get better at emotionally wounding people after years of practice, and predictably (if we had any foresight on this matter at all) it backfired! I did in fact turn this skill against the one person I cared about in an effort to push them away during one of my breakdowns and it resulted in 6 suicide attempts, not including my own. Jokul has been trying to manipulate me positively since (both of us have been ordered to be nice to each other by Miyuki because we were causing too many problems) and it has Not Worked. If he was a separate person, I would skin him. The only person I’ve hated so much. We’ve been on relatively good terms lately. Been capable of having casual conversations. Things are okay, I guess. His personality is entirely fake, so I don’t know how to describe it except for how he acts when we’re trying to hurt each other, which might be him dropping his mask or it might be a whole different act just for that. Pronouns: He/him. Sexuality: He can change it at will? I think default is aroace though? Current fave thing: *Jokul imitation* “My purple silk dress I wear when I’m meeting people and am desperate for them to worship my beauty. I look so irresistibly elegant in it, it makes everyone like me automatically.” His actual answer is Death Note (cringe) (I’ve been yelled at for calling Death Note cringe)

Gracelynn: (headspace ex-bestie) Everyone thinks she’s the nicest person ever and super loyal and so on. She is to other people but apparently not to me anymore. Still finds it difficult to empathize with people and care about them, but apparently decided to be nice anyways. Like she doesn’t get the fuss about friends but she’s here for them anyways. Spends as much time daydreaming as possible these days, used to front A TON a few years ago. Extremely shy and full of social anxiety and anxiety in general. Goes nonverbal in a plethora of social situations. Freakishly good memory. Has way less memory gaps than I do and I have no idea why. She/her pronouns, probably aroace Current fave thing: brace yourself for no surprises, a tie between horseback riding and the Chronicles of Amber.

Ryo: (the alter of many names: Ryo, Rachel, Ry, Rei, R) The newest. Noticed a new voice and behavior that did not match any of ours a while after the events of 3.5 years ago. Might be coincidence, might not be, I don’t care. Kind of down to earth and practical and normal compared to the rest of us. Despite him being here for years now I don’t know that much about him partially because I don’t care and haven’t been paying attention, and partially because system communication hasn’t been that great (I’ve also been getting way more memory gaps! Whole days lost! Isn’t that great? (sarcastic)). Pronouns: varies, any are fine. (Despite us, in general, identifying as gender fluid so we don’t have to explain, Ryo is the only ACTUALLY gender fluid alter in our system) Aroace. Current fave thing: He said sleep, he wants us to go to sleep. (refuses to answer the fun question genuinely) Well Ryo, you have just failed my vibe check. Your reward is uh,,,AT LEAST 13 more hours of being awake. Yayyy

(I did colors here but the all green theme will stay in other posts <3 Really if I had to describe our auras it would be different shades of blue anyways.)

[wheezingghoulbois]

11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

This is me with restraint

aksfjalsjflajsflajsf it is indeed im proud of u cassie awslfjasfasf

11. if you were a dragon, what would you look like?

12. is your handwriting more print, cursive, or a mix? 

13. what colour would your lightsaber be?

14. what is your defining personality trait?

15. roller skates or rollerblades or ice skates?

16. are you an only child? oldest / middle / youngest?

11. uhhhh a gentle babie bean dragon. i want to be pastel colors and live on a fucking cloud and just be soft and doin my own thing not bothering anyone.

12. i’d say it’s a mix i guess, mostly because i write really fast so letters connect bc i dont lift up my pen enough lmao. it’s also basically illegible and v ugly askfjalsf but it gets the job done so yknow its fine

13. answered here! (tl;dr- purple for aesthetic but saber meaning wise green)

14. i feel like other people know the answer to this better than the person who gets asked right? like idk what trait stands out to others to make it my defining one asfjaksfjkjasjfalsfj if i had to take a guess on this blog it’s probably being a fucking huge ass disneyland nerd aAJSFLASFLASJFLAKSfj

15. roller skates bc it’s the one ive done the most out of the options ashflkajsfaljf in like middle school there were yearly gatherings at skate express and it was fun

16. only child, probably explains why im a weirdo alsijfaksf🤪🤙

anyone have any qs they wanna ask?

[its-norea-wong]

Yall don know crap about me so here:

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal than milk. I don like to have a bowl full of milk after.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a winter-y day? Yes.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Random pieces of old sketch paper I have lying around everywhere.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I drink green tea as is. I’ll have that or cocoa, with milk and sprinkles.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes, I don smile often.

6: do you keep plants? Yes, I have a small sunflower in my window.

7: do you name your plants? Yes, her name is Vivi. Don fuking judge me.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I use oil paints.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yeah, I hum to the music I play when I draw, sketch and/or paint.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Sleep? Hah, I don’t, but If I take my sleeping pills like I’m suppose to, usually on my side.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Er allein, dem die Jugend gehört, gewinnt die Zukunft.  

12: what’s your favorite planet? Saturn.

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Watching Shiloh trip and fall.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? I’m not going to live in the city once I finish school.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! It would take nine years to walk to the moon.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Ramen.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I want to get rid of the blonde patch at my routes.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.  When I learnt German only to give our Jewish history teacher wwII flash backs. Nate was mad. I didn’t care.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes and just small outfit ideas.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue, purple or orange. Why? Idfk.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My hello kitty little backpack that I brought with me from japan, I now use it as a purse when I go shopping. It confuses people.

22: are you a morning person? hell. no.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in bed till 4 pm.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Fuck no.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? The boy’s dorm room.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My black and pastel coloured converse.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum.

28: sunrise or sunset? sunrise. I’m not a morning person but it looks nice.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? no.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes, when? I wont tell, unless asked.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. They’re okay ig, yes?, no, no, and no thanks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I can’t really hang out with friends at 3 AM.

33: what’s your fave pastry? dessert mochii.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s name is Kuma. It’s a brown fluffy bear. yes i do.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? not anymore, I used to write to my mom while I was at school.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Bo burnham. That’s it.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! JB. just JB hitting on. every. single. guy. That or Shiloh. Just Shiloh being Shiloh. Also Bae thinking he’s better than everyone else.

39: what color do you wear the most? Black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a small necklace with purple beads. It has meaning to me I guess.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?  The One Safe Place.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? JB. 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? When I was 11.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yeah.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. uhhhhh. To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Store bought ramen. It’s so gross.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Thunder and Lightning, and yes.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought? Beetlejuice the musical.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Knifes. Pencils.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? uhh. Jeremy with sad song by scotty sire.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Ugandan knuckles, i know its dead but it’s still my favorite.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i love beetlejuice.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idfk.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I climbed up a shelf at the library to prove that I could be tall.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? no.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? im not answering this one.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhh idk.

59: what’s your favorite myth? Any Japanese urban legend.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? uhh. no.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I once gave away some floppy hat that my step dad gave me.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Yes, pineapple.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Yes. I make sure they’re organized on genre and then in the genre it’s alphabetized.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? blue.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My mom, but in order to do that, i’d have to die. :)

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Pink daises and sunflowers, small ones, plus some bits of lavender.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Happy, it’s nice.

68: what’s winter like where you live? no snow, it’s like 60 degrees.

69: what are your favorite board games? idk.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? ya.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? green.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? No, i have an okay memory.

73: what are some of your worst habits? I bounce my leg around whenever i’m not moving, that or I flick my pencil around.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. big ass hole.

75: tell us about your pets! I only have one and she’s a blind kitty. She’s white with spots and has a fluffy tail.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? My homework.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? uhh i really don’t care

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? I was given a flower by some girl during lunch, i never got her name though.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white, i didn’t get to choose cus I live in a dorm room.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. northern star.

82: are/were you good in school? ya i am.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? idk.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? no.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Ya i guess, and deadpool.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no. not really.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? my neighbor totoro, kikis delivery service.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? not really.

89: are you close to your parents? I was close with my mom.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. tokyo. i don’t have to explain.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no where.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i don’t put cheese on my pasta.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Shaved under my lil floof bangs.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?  Jeremy.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?  Draw.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I update immediately.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTJ - The Mastermind, libra, and huffle puff.

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? idk and no.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. no.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past, and for reasons.

[bubblegumstardust]

i havent bombarded you with questions in a long ass time so here i am (feel free to skip some if its too much): 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 (i know you probably won’t even have to google), 16, 17, 18, 24, 27, 29, 33, 36, 41, 47, 51, 58, 59, 61, 66, 71, 74, 75, 76, 79, 80, 90, 95 and finally 100🥰🥰

Dear God Chelle 😂😂💕💕

So sorry this is so long but I can't do read more on mobile

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I try to have more cereal generally but I just chuck milk in randomly and if it ends up being more then it ends up being more 🤷‍♀️

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I generally just use an actual bookmark, but some things I've used in a pinch are: receipts, a pen, sunglasses, some mail, another book, debit card, a hairband, my purse

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I don't drink coffee and I just have a teaspoon or 2 of sugar in my tea

7: do you name your plants?

Yep, I have 2 in my room called Ellie and Nyah. I even named their pots because they're cute and shaped like a sheep and a hippo! The pots are called Pippa and Mimi and they're girlfriends

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Generally writing I guess. I do a lot of painting/drawing too but that's less feeling expression and more just fun.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Yep, and I'm probably very annoying to share space with because I do it a lot

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

On my side and I have to switch like every 10 minutes when I'm trying to sleep or I get uncomfortable

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Literally cannot think off the top of my head. @wonderfilledness, remind me please. Also Chelle tell me any of ours I might have forgotten.

12: what’s your favorite planet?

In our solar system, Pluto because fuck science, it's a planet! Other than that there's a planet I can't remember the name of that, because of rotation speeds, always has the same side facing the sun so like most of the planet is uninhabitable except a thin strip on either side between the two

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

The pup. Also I was helping my mum make masks and I completely fucked up and it was really funny

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Ngl it would be a mess. Also probably covered in books and art stuff and it'd probably be light and airy with lots of plants and cute pastel colours

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Oh where to begin! Okay so for one NASA had to design a special pen for use in space because due to the lack of gravity, normal pens don't work. Any liquid in space will form itself into a sphere due to surface tension. Sunsets on Mars are blue. There's a planet where it's constantly raining glass sideways because wind speeds are so high. There's a (I think) dwarf planet in our solar system that they nicknamed The Goblin. Planet 9 is something we can observe exists but no one can find it and it might not be a planet at all. It could be a black hole or something. The moon is slowly drifting away. I'm gonna stop here but I could go on for ages.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Fucken love a good spaghetti bolognese

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

Kinda want it pastel pink or purple again but also really wanna dye it like a deep turquoise colour

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Excuse me how dare you assume I've done anything dumb! Tbh I definitely have but again my memory is really bad for stuff like this so I'm gonna turn to @wonderfilledness and @mooncloudsea for this again

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Tbh, you Chelle. Also I'd definitely trust Alice with them but it's somehow easier to tell you because admiting stuff face to face is horrible and I can only talk to you online really

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

I don't like gum

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

Everything all you guys do is cute 😘💕

33: what’s your fave pastry?

C r o i s s a n t s

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Hmmm. I don't know what my mood is right now so like idk?

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

I mean I'm pretty sure the last book I actually read was Aurora Burning so I gotta say that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Well there's plenty of foods I don't like but I'm not sure I'd ban any of them because there's always people who do like them.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Okay it makes no sense but I always think of Alice when I here B0$$ by Fifth Harmony because it's one of the songs we always end up screaming along to in the car

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

I feel like Alice is a vodka aunt and maybe I'm the wine mum?

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Idk actually. I quite like the echo myth though

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

Honestly I have no idea 😂

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Small little delicate one with lots of small cute flowers like daisies and other pink white and purple ones. Also it would be full of forget me nots because they're my favourite flowers.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Peppermint all the way

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They have short brown hair and give some of the best hugs. They're a couple inches taller than me and will not let me forget it. They also steal all my old clothes and would probably steal my dog if given the chance. They need to learn to fucken drive already and it's been too long since I last saw them

75: tell us about your pets!

He babey. He also a little shit but I adore him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

So many things. Probably most importantly, applying for uni

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Lol no one likes me enough to do something cute for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light purple. I chose it when we first moved here but painted it even lighter a couple years in

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I'm generally not the biggest fan of cities but I actually really loved living in Nottingham. It was super developed and you had like everything you could need and want there but also really kept its historic feel and it never felt so overcrowded like places like London do and idk, it was just a really nice place to live

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

I don't really have any in particular. Probably do some more art and writing and stuff but idk really

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I usually pick future no question but like I'm a little concerned as to what such a near future will actually look like. Maybe the past so I can redo some stuff and make a few better life decisions and get help for my mental health sooner and also maybe find a way to do something to prevent some of the awful things happening right now

[rebsrebsrebsrebs]

Q&A Answers

Thanks everyone for participating! I’m so glad y’all are here. Thanks for sending in questions for the Q&A and letting me talk gratuitously about myself lol. Questions and answers below!

show me a meme that describes Emil! - nerieda

Congratulations on all your followers! I'm curious because you mentioned it, have you had lots of different hair colors? - makeapactwithme

Yeah! I’ve been dying my hair for 10 years. I’ve done full white, platinum blonde, electric pink, fuchsia, at least 5 shades of purple, teal, pastel blue, bright green,  teal-green ombre, bright red, dark red, naturalish red, half teal half pink, half blonde half pink, and currently I’ve got a deep sea green. 

What's your opinion on the Lucifer x Diavolo ship? Yay or nay? - impastaz309

I like DiaLuci but I’m picky about it. I think there’s a lot there to explore in the interplay between each of their personal feelings, Lucifer’s oath of allegiance to Diavolo, how the incident with Belphie affected them… There’s so much playground for angst with a happy ending. Yes the happy ending is obligatory, I want my husbands to love each other and also me, thanks. 

what if any other otome/ dating games have you played? - winter-rose-wolf

have you ever played Mystic Messenger, if so, what was your fav route? (rip to the Vanderwood stans, still waiting for his route 😔😔😔) - peachykindalovesyou

Mystic Messenger, The Arcana, Ikemen Sengoku (briefly), Dramatical Murder, Cinders, Doki Doki Literature Club, Katawa Shoujo, Syrup and the Ultimate Sweet, Corruption of Champions (yes I’m counting it). In the ‘not strictly dating games/VNs but games where you can kiss people’ category, I’ve played all the Mass Effect and Dragon Age games.

I have played MysMe, but I stopped a few years ago. I played I think uh, one or two routes from Yoosung and Zen, and then the Jaehee friendship route. Cheritz let me kiss Jaehee you fucking COWARDS. Zen was one of my faves, but I have a thing for white-haired anime boys. Zen, Clear, Mammon, Solomon, and my own MC Emil.... Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Speaking of,

YOU LIKE DRAGON AGE, TOO?! Eep, so many questions so little space. Okay, favorite DA game out of the three we have currently? Also, who's your favorite romance option (If you have one) and why? Favorite race, class? My favorite is probably Origins, my favorite romance is Cullen (because I'm a simp). Although Alistair and Fenris are WONDERFUL as well. I also like Dorian, but I haven't made a male inquisitor to romance him with yet. I'm scared to romance Solas. I'm a sucker for Elven mages. - valkyrie-1369

OH YES HOMIES I LOVE DRAGON AGE. Inquisition is my fave game. I like Iron Bull, Cullen, Josephine, and Dorian’s romances the most. Save yourself the trouble of romancing Solas, you’ll get either really sad or really angry or both. My most played race/class combos are Elf Mage, Human Rogue, and Qunari Rogue. Fun bonus fact, five of my eight MCs were originally Dragon Age OCs because I am a dirty, dirty recycler.

Hey! Congrats on the milestone! Can you tell me about your favorite fanfic? Fandom doesn't matter, just something you liked a lot! - tatsukohime

I have two favorites that come to mind. The Obey Me! one that comes to mind is feels like I'm losing my mind (feels like a dream of me all the time) by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams. Do you like getting punched in the gut metaphorically? Do you like vivid descriptions of smells and emotions? Do you like demon fucking? This fic is for you. The plot rocks. The characterization rocks. The original characters (more than one!!!) rock. All around a wonderful investment of your time. Author is also a friend and a sweetie.

For a not-Obey Me! rec, The Tricky Business of Disclosing the Greed of a Martyr by ActuallyAndroid. Breath of the Wild slow burn featuring lots of cooking and mutual pining. 

Any suggestions for digital art? - cakenpiewhyohmy

This is really vague and IDK what to tell you, so I’m just gonna spout some stream of consciousness advice I guess. If you’re interested, give it a shot. It’s kinda like any other art in that you gotta practice and try different things. The computer doesn’t make it easier, it’s just a different set of tools. That said, I like that I only had to invest in the tablet and it doesn’t take up a lot of physical space, since I don’t have much space. Be sure to do your stretches. Always put your tablet pen in the same place. Keep your desk clear if at all possible, I say, looking at my three cups that I need to clear away. 

Thanks everyone again! I’ll probably do another one of these at 300 or so, so I’ll see u then <3

[eldritchsurveys]

12o.

Do you wish you could paint your bedroom walls? >> Not particularly. I mean, it’d be cool, but I can live without it until we move into a more permanent place.

What’s your favorite musical? >> Repo! the Genetic Opera, full stop. Phantom of the Opera after that, and Jesus Christ Superstar third.

How do you get to sleep? >> I don’t really do anything special, I just read or play phone games or hang out in Xibalba until I’m sleepy.

What happened at the last party you went to? >> I’m not sure what the last party I went to was that wasn’t just some family event that I went to with Sparrow.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? >> Yep.

What’s your hair like at this present moment? >> Freshly shorn and washed (well, yesterday, but that’s still pretty fresh to me).

Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down? >> It depends on what I’ve been doing more of at the time. I like to sit up but sometimes reclining is a relief if I’ve been sitting too much.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? >> I don’t know, but one movie I absolutely didn’t enjoy was Napoleon Dynamite.

Are you an untidy person? >> No, but I live with a person that isn’t entirely tidy and I have resigned myself to it (because the other option is madness).

Have you ever been a fan of N*Sync? >> Not really a fan -- I liked BSB more back in those days -- but I do still think some of their songs are absolute bangers.

Do you watch a lot of television? >> Not a lot, mostly because I don’t binge-watch like I used to anymore.

Do you think you’re fat sometimes? >> Nope.

Do you like to flex your muscles? >> Sometimes. What little I still have, haha.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? >> Yep. One time Sparrow was saying that a place was too bougie and I swear my brain heard “boobily” and I was like “it’s too boobily???” and she was like “babe WHAT. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN” and I couldn’t stop laughing.

Favorite kind of cake: >> Red velvet.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you last? >> It was a woman.

Name something you are doing tomorrow? >> I’m not doing anything special tomorrow, so I don’t know... playing FFXIV? Like, probably.

Where are you going to be at 4 PM tomorrow? >> Home, barring any surprises.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? >> Yeah.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? >> No.

Do you think you would be a good parent? >> I don’t know. I think I would do my absolute best, which is all you can ask from anyone, I guess.

Who was driving the last time you were in a car? >> Sparrow.

Are you tanned? >> No, I’m full-on darkskinned.

Did you get any compliments today? >> No. I also have only been awake and online for like an hour.

Do you get jealous easily? >> No.

What were you doing at 3 AM this morning? >> Sleeping.

Are you any good at math? >> I think I was fairly okay at it. I just never developed an interest.

Any plans for Friday night? >> Hopefully we’ll do the Cafe Boba meetup again, with West Michigan Geeks. Last time was pretty fun.

Do you have a little crush on someone? >> Yeah. I don’t know what it’s about, but it exists, so I guess I’ll just deal with it until it finally passes.

How old is the last person you kissed? >> Ageless.

Why did you kiss the person you last kissed? >> No special reason, I just like kissing him.

What is your middle name? >> Frey. I don’t know if I’ll have a middle name when I change it for the [hopefully] last time. I’d like one, but I can’t figure out what flows well. IDK, maybe I’ll just keep Frey. It’s like “Ann”, sounds good in between almost anything.

What are you passionate about? >> Storytelling and mythology.

Do you have any fears? >> You know, my thanatophobia problem has been a little quieter lately. I still have “oh shit” moments, but not like before. And the major change has been... not sleeping in the second bedroom anymore. I maintain that there is something about that room -- either because of the last occupant or because of something I can’t suss out -- that is just toxic for me. So I’ll just keep my stuff in there but not myself, and deal with Sparrow trying to kickbox in her sleep -- it’s better than the alternative.

Where are you from? >> Good question.

What’s your sign? >> Gemini Sun.

What is your favorite color? >> Gold.

Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? >> I’m a procrastinator with executive function issues, so I actually sometimes don’t know whether I’m just garden-variety procrastinating or whether I need to be approaching a task from a “let’s fix/cheat my executive dysfunction” angle. When my executive function is in tip-top shape, I can get a task done in no time.

TV Shows and anime you watch regularly: >> Grey’s Anatomy, mainly, because I still have so many episodes left.

Halloween costume idea for this year? >> I don’t have any ideas, because I have never properly dressed up for Halloween and I still don’t know if I’ll ever get to.

Is there anything purple nearby? >> There’s one of those bag clips on my desk and it’s shaped like a purple monster face.

Do you usually leave voicemails on other people’s machines? >> No. I also don’t call people, so.

Do you know somebody whose christmas lights stay up all year round? >> I don’t think so. Aside from people (like me) who use Christmas lights as regular lighting.

Do you always shut your computer down when you’re finished with it? >> No, I usually set it to hibernate or sleep.

Are most of the pens around your house from random companies or plain? >> They’re just random pens, idk.

Sixteen Candles or Pretty In Pink? >> Haven’t seen either.

Do you want to have a big family in the future? >> Er.

Do you get embarrassed when talking about things like sex and periods? >> No.

Do you often write people’s moods off as ‘PMSing?’ >> I don’t recall ever doing that.

Do you think that men endure too much? >> I think that humans endure a lot, period. Men included. It’s unfortunate that it’s in fashion to diminish the struggles of men now in the name of “feminism” or whatever, because not only is that petty and unfair, it’s actually a roadblock to equality. But, you know, who cares, right?

Are there any towels in your house with cartoon characters on them? >> No.

Do the half sheet paper towels annoy you? >> No.

Ever been in a mosh pit? >> No, I watch them but I refuse to participate.

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? >> I’m not sure.

Is Vegas one of your must-see places? >> I’m into the idea of going, but it’s not a priority.

Pet rat ; Yay or Nay? >> They’re adorable and I love to play with other people’s, but I’m not sure about keeping one myself. Mostly because I’m a poor caretaker.

If given the chance, would you ride a unicorn to Iceland? >> Uh, yeah, sure, why would I pass that kind of opportunity up?!

Have you ever washed a cat in your bathtub? >> No.

Ever seen the movie Max Keeble’s Big Move? Opinions? >> No.

Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? >> I suppose. I wrote a short thing with my Fallout 4 Sole Survivor and Preston Garvey a week or so ago.

Are you good at reading people’s body language? >> I don’t know.

Ever ask a random stranger to pretend to be someone for you? >> No.

Are needles something that you’re afraid of? >> No.

Have you ever been prescribed medication? >> Yes.

Did you ever have those glow in the dark stars on your ceiling? >> No, but Sparrow used to, and I actually have a set of them that I got in a Reddit Secret Santa exchange but I never actually got around to sticking them anywhere.

Do you have a Friday night routine? >> No. We might now, though. We’ll see.

Do you kind of have to pee right now? >> No.

[fighterflyer]

Undertale/Swap SI: Katherine Beaumont

Art by @melle-d

If there’s an AU already called UnderVerse in the fandom that I don’t know about, no, this SI has no association with it.

While presently the story I’m writing her in is a slightly divergent Underswap, I may also end up writing her in other AUs as well, such as Undertale or Underfell if I’m so inclined. So this is mostly just her general information, while specific relationships will be verse dependant. Hence, why I’m just using the sag “Self-Insert UnderVerse” to keep this out of any other UnderVerse tags.

Anywho, this is the first Self-Insert bio I’ll be posting here since I’m having an easier time writing the Underswap story she’s in rn! But considering I don’t really alter her personality in the other AUs, this can apply to the other universes to.

As far as F/Os go, I’ll make it simple in the event you DON’T wanna go through this novel of a bio:

1. Both in UT and US, she adopts Frisk and becomes her companion/adoptive mother/big-sister figure in the verse. [I don’t swap Frisk and Chara in my US-verse] So Frisk is a platonic/family F/O.

2. In UT, her love interest is kind of up in the air. It could be Sans or Asgore, idk.

3. In US, she’s shipped with Sans/Blueberry.

~~~~~

Name: Katherine Alyson Beaumont Nicknames/Aliases: Kit/Kat, Kitty/Kitten, Katie, Kathie | Fighterfly [Internet Handles and Gaming alias] Race: Human (50% English, 25% Native American, 25% Norwegian) Setting: UNDERTALE

Affiliation: Dreemurr Kingdom Occupation: Freelance Writer/Artist | Published Short Story Author Gender|Sex: Female (She/Her Pronouns) Sexual Orientation: Bisexual/Panromantic Age: 25 Birthdate: June 20th Height: 5'9 [5'11 in shoes/boots] Weight: 215 lbs, though loses weight over time Build: Cello-shaped, a noticeably curved figure with noticeable pudge in her stomach and thighs, slender shoulders, wide hips, and a large C-cup chest. Slender, average length arms and legs; no thigh gap. Soul: Purple with trace veins of Green and Orange (Perseverance with trace amounts of Kindness and Bravery). When her powers are in use, her soul glows only bright purple but shows the detailed veins when she's just showing it. Facial Details: Round face shape. Small nose, medium eyebrows, and downturned, bow-shaped lips (with cupid's bow). Skin: Pale Caucasian skin. Lightly freckled cheeks, nose, and tops of her shoulders. Slight scarring on her face and shoulders from years of scratching at herself. (optional for visuals) Hair: Dark brown. Naturally wavy, upper-back length, usually tied up into a ponytail. Bangs are usually overgrown and long, and pushed aside to frab both sides of her face. Eventually dyes her hair half bright blue with pale lilac streaks, half rose pink with trace yellow-orange streaks. Eyes: Soft dark brown eyes; medium-sized and almond shaped. Lashes are short in length and thickness. Always wearing glasses for poor vision, but she has them infused with magical energy by Toriel/Asgore [depending on the verse] to enable her to CHECK the statuses of Monsters and Humans alike and increase awareness and accuracy; they are impossible to break as well. Eyes glow a solid dark violet color when a great amount of her power is in use. Ideal Voice Actress: Anne Hathaway Distinguishing Features: - She has light scarring on her legs, thighs, arms, and hands from years of scratching, biting and chewing herself during autistic meltdowns. - Stretch marks on her stomach, thighs, hips and breasts. - When a great amount of her power is in use, the pigment above her veins on her neck, wrists/hands and ankles/feet glow a dark violet color. Dress Style: - While Kit admires several different styles, she's been kind of boxed into a corner of jeans, shirts, jackets and blouses that either hide her figure completely or compress her stomach to hide her pudge, with no real sense of style or passion, for most of her life. She's expressed an interest in pastel-goth styles and Bohemian styles, but she doesn't start exploring these styles until she starts detaching herself from her mother's limitations. Above everything else, however, her one requirement is comfort; how well the fabric breathes, whether it's scratchy or otherwise feels weird, etc. Because of her autism, she's very sensitive to texture and requires very soft fabrics. She'll almost always try to wear something with extended sleeves to have something to grip onto when she needs to stim. Common Accessories: - Silver metal slip-on bracelet with etching in it that reads "she believed she could, so she did" - CHECK Specs (Glasses charmed by magic to CHECK Monsters and Humans) - Specific Styles:  - Winter Style: VERY sensitive to the cold, she avoids going outside during winter as much as possible and when she does have to go out, she doesn't care enough about fashion. She'll throw on any boots, socks, pants, sweater, jacket, hat and gloves that will fit her and keep her warm. The only preferences she has is that she likes shin-high soft fuzzy boots, hats with side flaps, hoodies and really cute sweaters.  - Summer Style: She's also very sensitive to the heat, so will forgo any sense of fashion and dress lightly with just t-shirts and shorts. As her confidence builds, though, she may wear pretty sundresses too.  - Swimwear: Will never wear a one piece since she hates how confining they are, but will never wear a bikini, hating to expose her stomach. She'll usually wear a cute, skirted two-piece suit that covers her stomach.  - Nightwear: Usually sleeps in either a comfortable, beautiful nightgown, a cute pajama top and underwear, just her underwear, or nude. Typical Inventory: - Backpack containing:  - Laptop + Accessories (Power Cord, USB drives)  - iPhone + Accessories (Phone Case, Stylus, Headphones)  - Game Case      - DS XL      - Gameboy Advance      - DS and Gameboy Games      - Chargers for Both Devices  - Lined Notepad  - Sketchpad  - Change of Clothes - Medium-sized Shoulder-slung Purse containing...  - Large Pencil Case      - Pencils      - Pens      - Hair Ties/Ribbons      - Small Book of Sticky Notes      - Phone Charger      - Wallet with Cash, Change, Credit Cards and Coupons, as well as a "Wallet Knife"      - Makeup Compact with Concealer and Blush [Both to touch up her concealing and to see people's reflections in the mirror]  - Hygiene Products  - Small First Aid Kit  - 2 Cameras, One Digital, One Polaroid  - Change of Clothes - Lunch Satchel [Typically has a meal, snacks, and a drink inside] - Pocket Knife - Handgun with Ammunition Rounds in a holster on her belt Proficiencies/Skills: - Deduction/Puzzle Solving - Creativity (Writing, Drawing, Creative Improvisation) - Cooking/Baking - Leadership and Strategy - Computer Use [Fast Typing and Digital Processing] - Emotional/Mental Health Support - Learning/Information Processing - Gaming [Video games and Card Games] - Horseback Riding - Singing Special Abilities: [*Learns within the story] - Purple Magic    - A certain kind of telekinesis. Purple magic is a slight variation of Blue Magic; it's less "Gravity-Based" and a bit more free-range, but not always as powerful as Blue Magic.    - Induction of, and resistant to, KARMA and Poison. Because of the experiments she was put under as one of the rare humans to have an innate form of magic, she also has access to KARMA and Poison, which can manifest and be inflicted on others upon physical content under severe emotional duress. Almost always non-fatal, but can be harmful under prolonged exposure; usually just a brief defense mechanism. - Mixed Magic*    - Healing    - Fire    - Water - Dream Walking* - Limited Telepathy* - SAVE, LOAD, And RESET Personality: "I guess we’re both on our own in the world, huh? The way I see it, there’s no sense in being on our own alone, ya know? So... how ‘bout, for the time being... we be on our own together?” Truthfully, it can be hard to tell what Katherine Beaumont’s true personality is, as she’s been conditioned to be extremely guarded, forced, or all-over-the-place about her true feelings, thoughts, and demeanor, be it around family or complete strangers. Because of her overbearing, perfectionistic upbringing and a history of harassment, Kit tends to carry a polite, patient and disposition around most people she doesn’t know very well. She always does her best to be polite and socially acceptable, and is always much more mindful and conscious of her behavior around others because of her autism and years of her lack of tact and social grace coming back to bite her. She’s mostly mastered the ways of social grace over her years of conscious training and practice, but as a result, can be very nervous, shy, and timid around others, always concerned she may be doing something wrong or unacceptable, or not doing something she should be doing. A socially anxious introvert, she rarely goes out of her way to make friends, but is almost never uncivil or disrespectful towards others. “Perfect polite little angel” is her default MO towards strangers and some family. Those who know her well, however, would tell you a completely different story, and while most of it is true, even what they see still doesn’t quite hit the mark of her true inner self. Her close friends and family will see a very laid-back, casual and fun-loving young woman with an excitable energy, an unpredictable sense of humor that changes like the seasons - ranging from sharp, snappy wit, snide dry sarcasm, inhuman noises a human diaphragm should not be capable of making and sex jokes - and a kind, loving heart with a head like iron, powerful protective streak and a long-fuse-big-explosion style temperament. Though her timidity can still persist even around her close friends and she has a tendency to be extremely sensitive, she’s infinitely more comfortable showing some of her true colors around them. She does have a hidden wild side and a certain bravery and courage underneath the shy timidity, but it’s all foreign and unexplored to her; a lot of it has to be dragged out by others or forced out by herself. She never regrets it, but as much as she loves those moments of freedom, she’s still unused to anything like that and tends to instinctively avoid it. Keyword being “some”. In reality, she keeps many things close to herself, even out of sight of the few people who earn her trust and earn their way into her mental file of “Close Friends”, and especially out of sight from her family. It can be argued that the only place where you’ll see her true colors is during the most important and critical of situations, where she's the best possible version of herself that she needs to be in those moments: Extremely calculating, quick-thinking and sure of herself, passionate, confident, daring, ruthless to the creatures she battles but gentle, warm and inviting to the egos she protects and cares for. It can be argued that this is her ultimate true self... is it? It’s hard to say. She hides so much of herself out of instinct, and is so unaware of, and confused about, so many of her own strengths and weaknesses after years of abuse, manipulation, harassment and being taken advantage of, calling any of her dispositions and demeanors her “True self” isn’t quite 100% truthful. It’s more accurate to say that all of these different “sides” of her contain separate fragments of her true identity that she’s still struggling to piece together. She often-times struggles with her mental health and sense of self-image and self-identity. Despite her outward behavior, she is a deceptively sensitive and battered soul trying her absolute hardest to maintain a positive attitude, find her own happiness and place of belonging in the world, and not drive anyone (else) away with her challenges and sensitivities. Strengths: - Physically strong, dextrous with her hands. - Durable; has a strong immune system and has a high pain tolerance. [Even if she bleeds a lot, bruises like a banana, and overall is very frail and gets hurt easily, she tends to handwave it with 'it's just pain' and do what she has to regardless.] - Very little sense of smell; resistance/immunity to Plutarkian odors and the Lougie brothers. - Generally mature, rational and logical, tries her hardest to be fair and reasonable. - Good with computers, fast typer. - Is an excellent singer. - Creative and imaginative. - Determined and persevering, never gives up. - Hard worker, dedicated - Kindhearted, compassionate and loving. Can be a very calming presence. - Very Intelligent, Very calculating and Has an unwitting knack for strategy. Has an IQ of 138. - Courageous; despite her open timidity, she with brave through anything she has to. - Confident and proud of her capabilities. - Empathetic and thoughtful of others. - Quick-witted and Sassy; has a sharp sense of humor and can laugh at herself. - Can be very goofy and childlike, connecting very well with smaller children. - Loyal and steadfast. - Is generally very good about owning up to her own mistakes and always strives to improve and do better. - Can be timid, but when it comes down to the wire, she’s very courageous, daring and willing to face her fears... eventually. Weaknesses: - Physically frail. - Lacks stamina in the real world. - Visually impaired and has difficulty processing sound. - Is not fast, flexible or agile. At all. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping her alive half the time. - Is on the Autism Spectrum. Suffers from executive dysfunction, memory problems, sensory processing problems, and difficulties in social situations. - Suffers from an anxiety-panic disorder, acute PTSD, and depression, and is not medicated for any of it. Struggles with self-esteem, self-worth, and self-image issues as a result, occasionally experiences suicidal thoughts. - Though she has a lot of patience, her anger can reach explosive, black-out levels when it reaches its boiling point. - Stimming, autistic meltdowns and depressive episodes can be physically harmful to her. - Very disorganized; has trouble maintaining a schedule or keeping track of time. - Can be stubborn and bullheaded. - Can be snide and sarcastic. - Struggles with self-advocacy. She tends to pendulum swing between "silent doormat" and "on a bloody, angry war-path of 'I deserve better'". - Heavily sheltered and repressed, can be very naive. - Can be very emotionally and mentally sensitive. - Easily flustered. - Can sometimes be a little obnoxious in her humor. - Though polite by default, can struggle with maintaining her manners. Family: - Forrest Beaumont [Father, 47] - Amelia Beaumont (nee Lexington) [Mother, 49] - Logan Beaumont [Older Brother, 26]  - Natasha Beumont [Sister-In-Law, 28] - Grace Beumont [Older Sister, 26] - Arthur Beaumont [Younger Brother, 18] - Daniel(le) "Danny" Beaumont [Younger Sibling, 15] A very large extended family Friends: [Verse-Dependant, UT by Default] - Frisk [Companion, 6] - Sans [Close Friend/Love Interest] - Undyne [Best Friend] - Alphys [Best Friend] - Papyrus [Best Friend] - Mettaton [Good Friend] - Bliss [Good Friend] Other Relationships: [Verse-Dependant, UT by Default] - Wing-Ding [Enemy] - Gaster [Future Father-in-Law] - Flowey [Enemy] - King Asgore Dreemurr [Close Friend] - Toriel [Mother Figure] Noteworthy Interests: Likes...  - Writing [Songs, Short Stories, Poetry, Personal Essays]  - Children  - Animals - Horseback Riding  - Cooking/Baking  - Reading...      - Fantasy      - Mystery      - Action/Romance  - Music      - Soft Rock      - Pop      - Country  - Movies      - Cartoons/Animation      - Comedy      - Action-Adventure  - Weather Watching [Namely rain]  - Dream Walking [Especially Tending to the Dream Pearls]  - Games      - Video games [RPGs, Time Management, Platformers]      - Card Games  - Collecting things [Rocks, feathers, leaves, small things]  - Paranormal/Ghost Stories [Just not at night]  - Stimming Dislikes/Fears...  - Loud Noises      - Being Yelled At [PTSD Trigger]  - The Dark  - Scratchy, constricting clothing  - Slimy, oily or greasy textures  - Extreme hot or cold  - Sharp Objects [Needles]  - Being grabbed without warning [PTSD Trigger]  - Slasher films  - Alcohol [Drinking it or anyone else drinking it.]  - Being Cornered/Trapped without an escape [PTSD Trigger]  - Condescending/Patronizing attitudes  - Cleaning Passions and Hobbies  - Writing  - Drawing [Sketching, coloring]  - Video Games  - Cooking and Baking  - Dream Walking History: WIP because her story is a massive beast that requires time and patience to conquer. Her history is EXTREMELY complicated, so... Boyo, this is gonna take a lot more time to sort out. Miscellaneous: - She has an iron immune system except for strawberries and raspberries. These are literally the only things she's allergic to and despite the reactions not being "bad but not life-threatening, she'll openly hiss at them and keep her distance with the fruit by about 10 feet. - She adores blue and purple and usually dons them as her signature colors, but also loves shades of pink and yellow too. - Though she has a cat to make her feel secure at night, she still sleeps with her childhood stuffed dog, and takes it with her whenever she's sleeping over at someone else's house. She has a collection of other stuffed animals in her closet at home and she refuses to give any of them up. - She normally speaks casually with an expansive vocabulary and with a very slight Southern accent, but can sometimes speak in abbreviations and purposefully exaggerate her Southern accent when she's mad, freaked out, or just trying to be funny. - Her telekinesis has a soft purple hue to its glow. - Her sense of style and taste in clothing changes like the seasons and dresses very impulsively on a day-to-day basis, and can rarely plan her outfits ahead of time because of tactile sensitivity. That combined with her size makes her very hard to shop for, and she has a tendancy to wear the same outfit multiple days in a row. - Because of the experiments she endured, she has a heightened sense for people's emotional imbalances or current emotional state and has a sixth sense for connections between people's behavior and activity inside Lucidus. Without her glasses on, she can see the state of people's egos inside people's reflections. - She hates the feeling of make-up on her face as it feels sticky and gross, and tends to only be able to tolerate concealer and blush. Now that's not to say she's completely anti-make-up. She loves how she looks with make-up on but it always feels gross to put on and wear. Give her make-up that doesn't feel gross to apply and wear and she's all over that. - She absolutely loves to stim with her body and has a habit of flapping or flailing her hands, or rocking back and forth or side-to-side. She also has a habit of tactile stimming by touching surfaces she finds herself drawn to; her hands are most often on a wall, a sofa cushion, or someone's clothes. [Will add more details as I think of them.]

[theporgsyourelookingfor]

Get to know me(me)

So I am bored. I found this post with questions but since i probably won’t get too many asks and i do think some of these are a bit silly i decided to answer ALL OF THEM in my charming yet honest way. for your (and my) entertainment.

I kinda wanna tag people but i don’t know if anyone wants to do this (let alone read all this) BUT if you are as bored as me CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED BY ME!

HERE WE GO

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

CLOSED. not that i actually have many closets here... I only have one walk in closet named Narnia and I am pretty sure a Ghost lives in ther. But a friendly one. It talks with my cats and stalks me while I’m in the shower (I know this because sometimes the air suddenly gets really cold. I just go “oh hi” and move on)

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?

i haven’t done this but that might be because i forget this is a thing. and the bottles in finnish hotels are big? and attached to the wall? idk i don’t do hotels that often

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

in? what does this even mean?

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

I WISH

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?

yes. I use them as bookmarks.

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

nah

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?

a bear. i’d hug it. soft death

8: Do you have freckles?

no?

9: Do you always smile for pictures?

yeah, even if i don’t feel like it

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?

people walking slow in front of me when i’m Busy and Pissed Off. also people who don’t realize how ignorant they are about some things

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

no, i get bored

12: Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yes.

13: What about poop in the woods?

what about it?

14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?

Yeah. I also jump around and run everywhere in my tiny apartment.somehow i always end up running into my bookshelves

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?

YES. ALWAYS. SERIOUSLY. I WON’T EVEN NOTICE. PITY THOSE POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS WHO LEND ME PENS.

16: How many people have you slept with this week?

Keep reading for more random questions, stories, music and pictures of cats.

17: What size is your bed?

big enough for me and two cats

18: What is your Song of the week?

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

oh my supremelord what is this radical thinking?!?!

(yes. someday this won’t even be a question.)

DID YOU KNOW PINK USED TO BE BOYS’ COLOR?

20: Do you still watch cartoons?

hell yeah (if i only had the time)

21: Whats your least favorite movie?

can’t think of one right now #positivity

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

how bing of a treasure are we talking about?

23: If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size?

IF YOU’RE NON-BINARY, WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR? why thank you for asking, it’s blue with a hint of purple and green.

(i’m not saying all enby peeps do or should have Extra Colored hair, this just happens apply to me and this question annoyed me.)

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

stuff.

25: What is your favorite food?

chocolate. yes, it’s a food.

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

The Last Jedi and other Star Wars. Most Disney Classics. Anastasia. Phantom of the opera. Lord of the rings. Peter pan (the 2003 one). And many many more but i don’t remember them rn.

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?

I’ll tell you when that happens

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

no. i wanted to but my mom said i couldn’t handle camping in the woods

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

sure if i’d get good money out of it

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

Christmas cards! and i used to write letters to my old friend but then she started dating and forgot about me. I heard she and Boyfriend have a dog now.

31: Can you change the oil on a car?

don’t have a car, don’t really care.

I do have a motorbike but I know people who do better job with that so i let them handle it

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

not yet

33: Ever ran out of gas?

oh yes. and last summer I had a creepy old man coming to help me assuming i was a girl and didn’t know what the hell was going on

he: ”oh but you have to do THIS!”

me: “yeah, i’ve tried that too.”

he: “no but like THIS THEN!”

me: “i told you this bike doesn’t work that way.”

he: “oh but i have to help a sweet damsel in distress!”

like dude I am literally wearing a binder and men’s jacket can you please stop

and after that he asked me to go riding with him but then all of a sudden he was like

“oh but will you have a scary man in a leather jacket back home who wouldn’t like you going out with me?”

and i was like “...actually, yes.”

like yeah sure let’s pretend i’m a straight little helpless girl with a super jealous boyfriend so you will leave me alone.

(my imaginary boyfriend is called Robert, he moved here 3 years ago from the north where we met and he just got out of jail for helping his brother try to commit murder.)

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?

eggs. just because that’s all i can do.

36: What is your usual bedtime?

37:Are you lazy?

i tell myself i am but i’m not really sure... i do a fuckton of studying and writing

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

when i was a kid we didn’t have halloween here. now we do tho. and i do remember dressing up as a ghost to some school party

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?

Pig?

40: Are you horny?

no, but i have beautiful antlers.

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

no, but this got me wishing for one

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?

43: Are you stubborn?

maybe

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?

should i know who these people are?

no, i will not google, moving on

45: Ever watch soap operas?

sometimes.

46: Are you afraid of heights?

if we go high enough

47: Do you sing in the car?

with the right people and right music

48: Do you sing in the shower?

no. my Ghost roommate wouldn't like it.

49: Do you dance in the car?

yeah.

50: Ever used a gun?

no

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

in high school?

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?

sometimes, but that’s the point

53: Is Christmas stressful?

yes, but i’ve lived on my own for a while now and have carefully avoided all the christmas stress and shit.

54: Ever eat a pierogi?

a what now?

oh

no but now i am extremely hungry.

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?

blueberry. i don’t care if that’s not a fruit it’s the only pie i do.

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

i wanted to be a marine biologist because my last name means “seaweed-y” or “algae-y” and i would have literally been Marine Biologist Dr. Seaweed.

that would still be VERY cool

57: Do you believe in ghosts?

if you have read this far you can probably guess the answer

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

have i had this question before?

59: Take a vitamin daily?

yeah. my dad wants me to

60: Wear slippers?

if i had ones

61: Wear a bath robe?

IF I HAD ONE

I WOULD NEVER TAKE IT OFF

62: What do you wear to bed?

i got two star wars pajamas and i regret nothing

63: First concert?

these guys. they are a legend. i was like 3. best time of my life

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

65: Nike or Adidas?

do i look like i got money for this shit?

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?

nope

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

both?

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?

no.

69: Ever take dance lessons?

i have. my mom took me to ballet when i was like 2 and i stayed there until i was 12 because my grandma would get me a cinnamon roll after every lesson.

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

do i picture a future spouse?

71: Can you curl your tongue?

I CAN. IN MANY WAYS.

72: Ever won a spelling bee?

we don’t have those. or at least i haven’t heard of any

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes. last night i had a dream i had a baby and i cried like one.

74: Own any record albums?

yeah

75: Own a record player?

yeah

76: Regularly burn incense?

no

77: Ever been in love?

on some days I’m in love with myself.

78: Who would you like to see in concert?

Let me introduce you to our lord and savior Antti Tuiksu:

(this music video is the light of my life)

79:What was the last concert you saw?

don’t remember. i don’t have the money for this kind of luxury

80: Hot tea or cold tea?

(get it, HOTh? ahahahahah.)

81: Tea or coffee?

Hot Chocolate

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?

83: Can you swim well?

yes.

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes.

85: Are you patient?

last year i waited for 8 hours in this jewerly shop to get a free tattoo (it was a campaign thing, the brand turned 80 years. the same people who made Leia’s necklace in A New Hope!) and JUST WHEN IT WAS MY TURN THEY RAN OUT OF INK AND NEEDLES so no tattoo for me but it was a weird and funny day.

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?

Porgs shall sing in rey and ben’s wedding.

87: Ever won a contest?

i am sure i have but i do not remember it.

88: Ever have plastic surgery?

i have not

89: Which are better black or green olives?

no olives

90: Can you knit or crochet?

I CAN KNIT!!!

91: Best room for a fireplace?

bathroom

92: Do you want to get married?

i mean yeah if i find the right person for it but i’m not getting my hopes up, it’s not that important for me

93: If married, how long have you been married?

if

94: Who was your HS crush?

Troy Bolton

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

i don’t need to

96: Do you have kids?

yes, two:

97: Do you want kids?

yes. and you will hear about it.

98: Whats your favorite color?

Black and

99. Do you miss anyone right now

@morsoullakko

AND WE’RE DONE!!! DID SOMEONE ACTUALLY READ ALL THIS??? HI, I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE I DIDN’T WASTE YOUR TIME!

my boredom is cured.

[gukyi]

pen pals | jjk

⇒ summary: to put it simply, pretending to be jungkook’s pen pal when you were both eight just so he wouldn’t be disappointed was a bad idea, because now he’s in love with them. or, well, you, he just doesn’t know it. 

⇒ friends to lovers au

⇒ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇒ word count: 11k

⇒ genre: fluff, light angst, lighter smut

⇒ a/n: no, i don’t have an obsession with writing cute jungkook fics, idk what you’re talking about. this is unedited, as per usual. 

Lies. They’re a pretty damn funny thing, if you’re being honest. Some lies can ruin lives, while others can save them. Some mean the entire world to people, others are about as insignificant as the pebbles that crumble off of the edge of the sidewalk. But one thing is for certain, and it’s that all lies, every single one of them, have the ability to take something as small as a ladybug and turn into something as big as a whale.

It starts when you’re eight, sitting at your desk at school. Actually, you’re not really sitting, you’re doing that thing where you push yourself off of the ground and balance on the chair’s hind legs, which never really works out, because you always fucking fall every time you do it.

Truthfully, the whole thing starts a long time before that, a whopping two years prior to the inciting incident, when you first met Jungkook as little children marching into the first grade together, but who cares about that? The eighth year of your lives is where things really begin to kick off.

“We’re getting pen pals,��� your teacher says to the class, making all of the children gasp in excitement. The mere mention of it makes you fall flat on your back, though that would have happened had she not said a word.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m fine, I’m fine,” you reply, rolling off of your chair and pulling it upright, sitting back in your seat like the well-behaved child you should be.

“There’s an organization that connects kids like yourselves to others all over the world, meaning none of you will have a pen pal from the same place. I have the names and locations assigned to each of you, and I will be handing them out, along with a blank sheet of lined paper, for you to write to them.”

You turn to Jungkook, who is bouncing up and down in his seat excitedly as he waits for the slip with his own pen pal’s information on it. When the teacher places it on his desk, he shows you with a rectangular grin on his face.

“Look! Look, they’re from South Korea! Isn’t that neat? I wonder if they know Korean,” he says aloud. “Maybe I can get Jeonghyun to write to them in Korean.”

“But then if they responded in Korean, you wouldn’t know what they’re saying!” You point out.

“Oh, I guess you’re right. I’ll just ask them.”

And then off he was, pulling a pencil the length of a decently-sized ant out of his backpack’s front pocket, and writing away.

Having pen pals is one of those things that you read about in books meant for higher-grade elementary-schoolers, where you think it’s super cool and exotic and special until you actually do it yourself, and it turns out to be none of those things. Your contact with your pen pal dies exactly one week after you receive their letter back, one of those standard ‘Thanks for writing to me! Hope we can continue speaking!’ that you never follow through with. Your pen pal is from somewhere in Europe — Italy, if you’re not mistaken — but it’s not as if the place interests you so much that you desperately want to keep talking.

Jungkook, however, ever the overzealous and over-engaged eight-year-old, finds himself enchanted by the basic information his pen pal provides, avidly writing back everytime he gets a letter from them in the mail.

Eight-year-old Jungkook is a pretty dynamic fellow, if you do say so yourself, the boy involved in nearly every extracurricular on the planet. You feel so bad for his poor mother, who has to drop him off at swim practice only to pick him up and immediately drive to chess club, then to the mathletes, then to his piano lessons, then to dance. Kid only gets home at nine at night, even for an elementary schooler, so it seems pretty typical for him to be equally as intrigued with the concept of pen pals as he is everything else.

And, as his honorary best friend and the only one willing to put up with his ridiculous schedule in order to plan play dates, you hear all about it.

“Y/N!” He shouts, bounding down the hallway as you sit patiently on his couch, let into his house by his mother as you wait for him to leave his room to greet you. He’s holding a torn envelope and an unfolded letter in his hand as he rushes over to you, pulling himself up onto the couch next to you. “Look! She wrote back.”

“What’s her name, again?”

“I told you, it’s Hari,” Jungkook reminds you, like it’s such a big deal that you’ve completely forgotten everything about his pen pal. “Look, look what she said,” he repeats, shoving the letter into your hands.

“Dear Jungkook,” you begin to read. “I can’t believe you’re also Korean! Just my luck. It must be very cool to be Korean but not live in Korea. Can you speak Korean? I can. What’s your favorite color? Mine is purple, but I also really really like pink. Do you have any pets? I want pets, but I can’t because my younger brother is very allergic. Do you have any brothers or sisters? What are their names? Hari.”

“Isn’t she just the coolest?” Jungkook beams as you hand the letter back to him. “She’s so fun to talk to.”

“Isn’t this only your first letter from her?”

“Yes, but she responded very fastly.”

You open your mouth to tell him that that’s not a word, but you close it, deciding that it’s not worth ruining his mood to point out one of his mistakes.

“What are you going to write back to her?”

“I don’t know,” he says, huffing as he looks down at the letter. “Help me?”

“Okay,” you agree, following him to his room as he brainstorms all the answers to Hari’s questions. Once he’s closed the door, you lie on your stomach on his carpet as he sits at his desk and writes, keeping your eyes focused on the way his feet dangle off of the chair, too short to reach the ground.

The letters go back and forth for the next couple of months or so, Jungkook easily being the only kid in your entire class to somehow manage to maintain a relationship with their pen pal past the first few weeks. He talks about Hari like she’s actually there with you, sitting in the same class and listening to the same lesson. Any average person would probably grow to be a bit jealous of his relationship with a girl he’s never met, but considering the fact that you know Jungkook would never drop you, his only friend, you’re pretty unfazed by the whole thing.

“I’m trying to get her to send me a photo of her,” Jungkook admits to you one fine day outside, the two of you sitting under the shade of a thin birch tree as you watch the rest of your grade run around on the field, playing something along the lines of ‘Chase the Girls’. You’re glad you have Jungkook to guard you from being dragged into that mess of a game. “But she won’t. Why?”

“Maybe her mom won’t let her.”

“But my mom let me send a photo of myself to her,” Jungkook whines, throwing his head back in anguish and knocking it right against the bark, an unsettling hollow sound echoing by your ears.

“Maybe her mom is different,” You suggest.

“I’m gonna keep asking her. Maybe she’ll send one eventually,” Jungkook decides firmly, like every other eight-year-old when they make the decision that they want something, and they’re gonna get it.

“You shouldn’t make her feel bad for not showing her face,” you inform him. “That’s rude.”

“I won’t, you sound like my mom.” Jungkook frowns at you, raising a disappointed eyebrow your way.

You choke back a snort. “Maybe she doesn’t want to send you a photo because the one of you was so ugly, that she didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

Jungkook scoffs, as if the scenario is impossible. “That’s dumb. I’m the cutest eight-year-old you’ve ever seen. Don’t you agree?”

“I don’t know, I mean, I’m sitting right here.”

Jungkook places a hand over his chest in mock offense before he pushes you over and into the grass. You retaliate by grabbing the edge of his cobalt blue shirt and pulling him down with you, leaving the both of you in a fit of giggles as the teacher opens the door to signal the end of recess.

Much to your relief, Jungkook receives a glossy photo of Hari by the next week. She’s grinning from ear to ear in the photo, messy bangs covering the top half of her eyes with fairy pink icing all around her mouth and almost none on the chocolate cupcake she’s holding. It’s one of the photos printed from an old camera, you can tell by the orange letters at the top right corner, signalling the date it was taken. You’re just glad you don’t have to hear him whine about it anymore.

The day he receives the photo is the day that Hari officially cuts off all contact with him, only he doesn’t know it yet. He’s too busy gloating in your face about the photo, getting his oily fingerprints all over the nice, shiny paper as he waves it in your face at his home.

“And you said she wouldn’t send me one,” he taunts, marching around with the photo like a damn champion holding a trophy.

“I didn’t think she would,” you reply, squinting your eyes at him. “What are you gonna say back to her?”

“I think those cupcakes look delicious.”

“That’s it?” You say, furrowing your brows.

“Am I supposed to say anything else?”

“Tell her she has nice hair.”

“Do girls like being told they have nice hair?” He questions, scrutinizing the photo.

“Some of them do.”

“But I think she has bad hair.”

You take the nearest throw pillow you can grab and fling it at him from where you stand, throwing it over the couch in between the two of you as it socks him in the jaw.

“Hey!” He shouts from where he’s fallen over.

“Trust me, Jungkook. I know girls, and she’ll like being told she has nice hair, even if you don’t think it’s very nice,” you insist. “No one cares about what you think.”

Jungkook purses his lips in disgust, very obviously not wanting to compliment her hair in the letter he sends back. “Do you like being told you have nice hair?” He asks, turning his attention towards you.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” you state, standing up tall.

“Well, your hair looks ugly today, too.”

This prompts a full-on pillow fight between the two of you, knocking each other over with every pillow in sight, as well as a couple tissue boxes. Hopefully, his mother doesn’t have anything very expensive sitting on wobbly tables in the room, because neither of you will relent until the other surrenders.

Spoiler alert: you win.

Nearly two weeks pass and Jungkook still has no response letter from Hari, him informing you of this as he mopes about having to visit the mailbox every day, only to be let down every time he opens the flap.

“Maybe she’s running late. Maybe Korea is busy and can’t send letters right now because something came up. You know, sometimes, when my mom has a really important letter to send, she waits an extra day just to proofread it like five times. Maybe she’s doing that.”

“But it’s been so long,” Jungkook whines. “I complimented her hair just like you told me. I want to know if she likes it.”

Truth be told, you never find out if she likes his compliment about her hair, because by the third week, you can pretty much tell that she’s given up, just like every other eight-year-old on the planet who ever attempts to maintain a relationship via pen pal. The only thing is, is that Jungkook is still as hopeful as ever, his faith in her not dwindling even the slightest.

You have to admit, it’s a little bit disheartening to see some girl give up on a guy as involved and genuinely interested as Jungkook, but you give Hari the benefit of the doubt anyway, as she likely has much more enjoyable things to do than write letters to a boy who once bragged to you about he could fit his entire foot in his mouth, and then proceeded to show you.

It’s still a shame, because Jungkook truly seemed pumped about his pen pal, and for it to just vanish in front of his eyes can be a punch to the gut to any child.

If anybody asks you, you do it because you can’t bear to hear the kid moan and groan about how the mailman has started to tease him for always waiting for the mail after school, and not, under any circumstances, because you actually care for the boy’s feelings and don’t want him to get hurt. You’re doing this for you, not for him. The greater good. Taking one for the team.

As you sit down to get writing the letter to Jungkook, praying that he’s too stupid to recognize the differences in handwriting, your mother opens the door to the reserved computer room you have, and you get an idea.

There’s no way Jungkook can call you out for handwriting similarities if you type the thing.

Dear Jungkook,

Sorry for the late reply! My family just got a new computer, so I was busy figuring out how it worked instead of writing to you. We even got it connected to the printer, how cool is that?

Thank you for the nice thing you said about my hair. It was kind of a mess that day, but I’m glad that you like mess. Those cupcakes were really good! I wish I could send you some. I’m sorry if I stop replying for a while. I’m getting very busy these days. Korea keeps me occupied. But I hope you are well! Please send my regards to your friends and family.

Hari.

Okay, so you do feel a little bad about lying to the boy, but it’s all for his good. If he gets the message that she’ll stop replying, then he’ll stop feeling the need to send letters to her, and eventually he’ll forget, problem solved. The plan is foolproof.

What isn’t foolproof is how you’ll manage to fake the return address so it seems like the letter is coming from South Korea and not your house, but if you can do anything, it’s come up with a plan.

Jungkook once opened one of the letters from Hari at your house, meaning the envelope was likely strewn somewhere on your absolute disaster zone of a desk. You sift through papers and papers, math worksheets and torn coloring books and arts and crafts from book tutorials, until you finally manage to locate the envelope under a large pile of what appears to be every single thing you worked on in the second grade. How it got there, you haven’t the slightest idea.

The return address on this envelope is handwritten and in English, which is good, because you were not about to copy Korean characters onto the top right corner of the crisp new envelope that sits on your unmade bed. However, getting the right return address is only half the battle, because now you need a way to mail it to him, without worrying about where it will get redirected should the mail folks lose it.

Eventually, through precise timing and a quick Internet search of the local mailman times, you decide that the best time to leave the letter would be when your mother drops Jungkook off at his house after picking the two of you up at the end of the school day. The mailman would have just arrived, the new mail fresh in the mailbox, and Jungkook walks into his house through the garage, meaning he can’t see you once he hits close on the garage door. This leaves you the perfect window to slip the letter in the mail.

The plan follows through with pretty decent success the next day, if you do say so yourself. Not to toot your own horn, but everything went exactly as planned and Jungkook did not notice a single thing. Your mom did ask what you were doing, snooping in the Jeon’s mail, but you merely replied that you had something to send to him, and that was that.

What you did not foresee coming was the excitement the next day at school as Jungkook runs over to you right before class starts, waving the letter frantically in his hands, held high above his head. He nearly falls over as he darts towards his seat to show you the letter as he glows.

“I knew she would respond, I just knew it!” He says, pointing at the letter as if you need reminding that he was right. “It’s so fancy now that it’s typed.”

“Wait, but look here,” you say, pointing to the line where you wrote that you would be busy. “She said she’s gonna be busy, so she won’t be able to talk to you.”

“No worries,” Jungkook says like it’s not a very big deal at all. His reaction frightens you, making you raise an eyebrow in panic. “I’ll just keep sending letters to her. She doesn’t have to respond.”

This was definitely not in the plan. Not at all. Oh no.

“Are you sure? You’re wasting the money your parents spend on stamps,” you say, wracking your brain for any valid reason as to why he should not do that.

“I’m the only one that sends letters in the house,” Jungkook proudly proclaims. “My parents use e-mail, which I’m not allowed to have, and Jeonghyun texts on his phone. He makes fun of me for sending letters, think’s they’re ‘old fashioned’. All the stamps go to me, anyway.”

“But… But…” You say, at a loss for words. There goes your hope that all contact with Hari would cease after what was supposed to be a final letter.

“Why, is something wrong, Y/N?”

Jungkook may be dynamic, but he is a little bit oblivious at times, a quality that saves your ass more often than you’d like to admit.

“Me? I’m fine,” you say, coughing to distract from your stutter.

“Really? You seem stressed,” Jungkook notes.

“I’m stressed these days,” you quickly spit out. “It’s fine, just a little bump in the road. Hey, we should go get ice cream today after school. My mom has a coupon.”

Any mention of food is enough to catch Jungkook off guard and change the topic completely, something you desperately need.

“Sounds good.”

At the ice cream place, Jungkook informs you that he’s too busy to respond to Hari today, so he’ll have to do it tomorrow, when swim practice doesn’t meet. That makes you breathe a sigh of relief, thrilled to hear that you have at least a bit of time to plan how you’re going to go about this.

You try and wean him off the topic of Hari by asking him about the moving truck in front of a house a couple of doors down, the one you saw for the first time yesterday, as you dropped him off.

“Oh! We’re getting new neighbors,” Jungkook says cheerfully. “No one’s lived in that house since before I was born, so it’s nice that they’re moving in. I hope they have a kid my age.”

Jungkook doesn’t suspect a thing, and if it makes him a little bit happier, you suppose there’s really no harm being done.

Is there?

Just as planned, Jungkook leaves a letter for Hari in his mailbox the very next day, and just as planned, you pick it up the following day as you drop him off after school, his new neighbors keeping the mailman stalled for just the right amount of time, so you reach the letter before he does. You don’t know how things are working out so well for you, but you’re glad they are.

“Stop fishing in the Jeon’s mail,” your mother instructs. “It’s rude.”

“Jungkook is giving me letters, though,” you try to explain.

“Then why isn’t he sending them to our house?”

“I’m tricking him.”

You refuse to elaborate further, but your mother merely sighs, probably dropping the topic because it’s just one of those kid things that she won’t understand.

You tear open the letter on the drive to your house, but when you pull out the piece of paper, another falls onto the car floor. When you pick it up, it’s a photo of you and him, one that his mother took at your school’s spring fair. The photo actually makes you feel a little bit nostalgic, looking at your smiling faces as if you were not one of the people in it.

Dear Hari,

I hope Korea does not keep you too busy! Even if it does, I will still send you letters, but you don’t have to respond super fast if you can’t. I still like to talk to you.

I hope you like the photo I’ve sent! It’s from my school’s spring fair. Do you have fairs in Korea? We have them every year, and they’re lots of fun even if the prizes kind of suck. I only go there for the hot dogs, to be honest. The girl in the photo with me is my best friend. Her name is Y/N. We spend a lot of time together! She helps me write my letters to you. I really like playing with her. She’s the best.

I’m going to send you another letter next week, if I can. Don’t feel pressured to answer me. I just want to keep you updated on what’s going on in my life.

Jungkook.

It’s weird to see Jungkook talk about you to a person neither of you have ever met, as you never imagined you’d be present to hear him describe you as a human, let alone his best friend. He speaks to Hari as if she’s just another new friend he’s showing around his house, and it’s reminiscent of when you first met each other and completely new all at once.

“What did he say?” Your mother asks as you begin to fold the paper back up.

“Nice things,” you reply, staring down at the letter in your hand, never meant for you.

In order to conquer the problem that is preventing the mailman from picking up your response letter and whisking it away for it to get inevitably lost in a flurry of envelopes, you leave a note for him on a Post-it attached to the inside of the Jeon’s mailbox as you stuff the letter inside while Jungkook walks into his garage the following week.

On it, in your tilted handwriting, says, ‘The letter in here is already adressed addressed to the Jeons. Please take this Post-it with you but do not remove the letter. This will happen every now and then, so pay no attention to it! Thanks’. You believe that a lime green Post-it won’t be particularly difficult to miss, so you can only hope the mailman follows your request.

You get your answer the next day during recess, when Jungkook gambols over to you, opened letter dangling from his finger tips. You’re more than relieved to see him, especially after finding yourself confronted with a game of ‘Chase the Girls’ without him by your side.

“She mailed me back!” Jungkook says, whistling pleasantly. “I’m glad she did, even if she said she wouldn’t.”

“She probably didn’t want you to be the only one sending things,” you tell him as he plops down in the shade next to you.

“That’s exactly what she said!” Jungkook cries, a surprised look on his face. Your eyes widen, but you say nothing in response and hope that he’ll forget about it as soon as possible. Sure enough, he does. “Wow, you really do know girls.”

You simply beam in response, hands under your chin to display your angelic qualities. “You gonna keep writing things to her?”

“Of course,” Jungkook says, rocking back and forth on the grass contentedly. “She’s so easy to talk to,” he continues, taking the silence between the two of you as a perfect cue to keep speaking. “Like, I feel like I’ve been talking to her for ages. Especially recently, you know? It’s like we’ve already known each other for years. I don’t think I’ll ever want to stop talking to her.”

And for once, under the shade of the tree as you watch the other kids dash around the field, you wish that you were apart of ‘Chase the Girls’, because then, maybe you wouldn’t feel so bad for lying to a boy after hearing about how something that’s not real makes him so happy.

The charade carries on into your higher levels of schooling, the lie only ever snowballing. Jungkook, despite your outward refusal of the fact, has become something of a looker as he’s gotten older, filling out the meat on his bones and growing a good several inches taller in the transition from middle to high school, nearing six feet tall. But, regardless of the self-awareness of his good looks, the only two constants in his life in terms of girls happens to be you and Hari. Well, you and you-but-not-you. His schedule is still as hectic as it’s always been, meaning he hardly ever has time to actually go out and date.

Over the past eight years, you’ve amassed quite the collection of random photos Jungkook decides to include whatever letter he’s sending Hari, the photos ranging from him at one of his swim meets, sopping wet with a Disney branded towel wrapped around his shoulders, to one of him taking a selfie with a fresh head of lettuce. You sometimes wonder if you would ever be able to see such photos if you weren’t posing as his pen pal.

And while your horde of both flattering and unflattering Jungkook photos is quite impressive indeed, it’s been getting increasingly difficult to hide the entire thing from Jungkook every time he stays over at your house after school on the off chance that he’s free for the afternoon. You store all of the extra things he sends you in a shoebox at the bottom of your bed and the letters reside in another shoebox at the back of your closet, behind all of the shirts that you buy on whims but never fucking wear, and you just have to keep Jungkook away from those areas.

By now, the conversations between the two of you as pen pals are just like old friends reconnecting, no basic nonsense like what your favorite colors are and how many pets you have. No, the two of you have started writing to each other about the mindless things, like when Jungkook did a school presentation on anime just to see how many weeaboos he could find in your class, or when you got totally socked in the head by a dodgeball he had thrown during gym.

Admittedly, it’s sort of fun being this ‘Hari’ character, because you’ve been able to fabricate her life into whatever you want, since she’s not physically there to call you out on it. You’ve taken your brief knowledge of her, from what Jungkook told you when you were mere children, and you’ve made a whole new life. She plays tennis, she acts, she loves classic English novels, but hates poetry. She has friends who are twins, she stinks at math, she’s never had a boyfriend before. These are all things you’ve turned her into, and who’s to say you can’t?

One thing that hasn’t changed is the guilt.

Every time you open your laptop to type up another letter, every time you hit print, every time you sneak the envelope into his mailbox when he’s walking up his driveway, you are guilty. Guilty of lying to your best friend, and guilty of letting it catapult into this huge, ridiculous, act that you are too afraid to drop. People always told you that lies only get bigger and never smaller, but you never believed them. Until it happened to you, of course.

What makes the guilt a thousand times worse, however, is how happy Jungkook is every time he gets a letter. He’s already a cheerful boy, always lighting up whatever room he’s in and charming everyone’s pants off with that smile of his, but the happiness he gets when he sees a letter from her is like nothing else. It’s the same excited feeling he had when he was eight, eleven, thirteen, and now, sixteen, and you hate that it’s all fake. You hate that you’re the reason it’s fake.

Jungkook’s over at your house, just after having received a letter from ‘Hari’ the day prior, and he is glowing.

“What’d she say, this time?” You ask as you sit down next to him on the floor, where he leans against the side of your bed, your textbooks and homework strewn all around you, practically untouched.

“She was just telling me about the antics that the twins get up to,” Jungkook tells you, sighing as he lets his head fall back, just making your mattress. His hand is on the floor, a little too close to the shoebox right beside it, and you need to move it, stat. “They’re so funny.”

“You’ve never even met them,” you say, carefully trying to push the shoebox further back with your fingertips.

“But they do such funny things! They break out into song and dance in the middle of class and always make jokes about the teacher,” Jungkook says. He has not noticed the box yet.

“They sound very entertaining,” you say, like a mother talking to her child about something she doesn’t care about, but the child does. “You get along with her well, you know?” Wonder why.

“I know, I just — I feel like I can tell her everything. I could tell her my whole life story and she wouldn’t judge me. She’s so easy to talk to, like you,” Jungkook says, smiling at the mere mention of her. “I never disagree with her on anything. She’s like a fucking dream.”

“Well, dream on, kiddo,” you tell him, patting his back. The shoebox is successfully out of reach of his hand. Crisis averted.

“I can tell you anything, right, Y/N?” He asks out of the blue, turning to you.

You scoff. “Of course. We’ve been best friends for years, I’d never betray you.” The words taste like bile in your mouth. You swallow them down without missing a beat. “Unless you’ve killed someone, Jungkook. Then I’m sorry, but I’m turning you into the police.”

Jungkook laughs at that. It rings through your ears, making you grin at the sound. “No, I haven’t done anything illegal just yet.”

“Then, what’s up?”

“Uh, you know the one girl in our English class?”

You roll your eyes, making wild gesticulations to emphasize the fact that you don’t know which girl he’s talking about. “Oh yes, very specific, I know exactly the girl you’re talking about. The one girl from our English class. Wow.”

He frowns at you, glaring and unimpressed. “She sits right behind you. You know her.”

That you do. Just last week, she asked you if Jungkook had a girlfriend.

You think you know where this conversation is headed.

“Mmm,” you hum in response, letting him continue.

“Yeah, anyway, um—” he begins, scratching at the nape of his neck, “—she asked me out yesterday.”

You figured as much. Jungkook was incredibly easy to read and you were also well aware of the fact that she liked Jungkook anyway, so it was only a matter of time before she made a move.

“And?” You ask, knowing that there’s more to the story than he’s letting on. “Obviously you didn’t say yes, I know you. But you’re hiding something in that tiny brain of yours,” you say, poking him in the noggin as he scrunches up his nose.

“Hey! My brain is not tiny, thanks very much,” he defends. “I think it’s above average, actually.”

“Explains your big head.”

Jungkook sort of walked into that one, if you’re being honest. It looks like he knows he just got played too, because he’s tackled you almost instantly, pinning you down on your hardwood floor with his hands right by your ears. You can see the muscles just barely bulging out of his arms, likely a result of the countless hours he spends at swim practice, and you laugh. This is a compromising position for anybody, especially when dealing with unresolved emotional anguish and sexual tension, but for you, it’s laughable.

“I did not ask for this disrespect,” he tells you, pretending to be incredibly offended as he hovers over you. “Who do you think you are, telling me I have a big head?”

“Your best friend,” you retort. Neither of you are very uncomfortable despite the otherwise incredibly suggestive position you’re both in. “You had something else to tell me?”

“I didn’t say yes because I think I have a crush on someone else,” he admits.

“Oh God, alright,” you say, pushing him off of you and sitting up, rubbing the spot on your lower back that first made contact with the floor when he tackled you. “Lay it on me, who is it? A senior? Another girl from our English class? An artsy emo kid you’ve never spoken to?”

“Hari.”

If you were concerned about the slight bruising at the bottom of your spine before, you most certainly aren’t now.

“Hari?” You ask incredulously. Suddenly, you feel a lot more guilty.

“Yeah,” he admits softly, rubbing the nape of his neck again, an action he does whenever he gets hesitant about something. “I like her.”

You hate to be that friend, but, “You’ve never even met her, Jungkook.”

“I know, I know, I just…” He says, trailing off as he turns away from your perplexed gaze. “I was thinking about all the things we’ve told each other, all the secrets I’ve spilled that only you and she know, and how she just accepts me for who I am and listens to every word I have to say, and I think I like her.”

You’re speechless.

“No, I — I know I like her,” Jungkook decides firmly. A weight lifts off of his shoulders the second the words leave his mouth, and you can see it. “I know it’s weird. I know. I’ve never met her but I wanna kiss her. I know.”

“Jungkook, this is insane,” you say, desperately trying to think of something else to tell him, but your brain comes up empty. “Are you gonna tell her?”

“Should I?”

“Beats me.”

“I don’t know if I should,” he says. “I’m worried she’ll think I’m weird, or stupid. Or if she’ll think that it’s not possible since we’ve never met. I don’t want her to think that.”

You roll your eyes. “No person wants to be outright rejected, you’re the same as all of us. Just do whatever you feel makes you comfortable.”

“I—I don’t think I’ll tell her,” Jungkook says, and it makes you breathe a metaphorical sigh of relief. Thank God. “Not yet, at least. I don’t want to come on too strong.”

“Sounds like a good decision if I’ve ever heard one,” you say, stepping all over your homework as you collapse on your bed. “You sure you’re okay with not telling her?”

“I’m sure,” he tells you, joining you as he climbs onto your bed, sitting up straight and maneuvering your head so that it rests on his thighs.

“So what are you gonna do about all the girls that ask you out on a weekly basis?” You wonder aloud. Surely, it will break their hearts to hear that Jungkook is desperately in the throes of love with a girl he’s never met who lives thousands of miles away.

“I’ll just say I have my eye on someone else,” he says, shooting you a wink. You chuckle, knowing that that ‘someone else’ is you that he’s referring to.

You don’t notice it, or, maybe you just refuse to allow yourself to notice it, but the wink that he sends your way has your heart fluttering just the tiniest amount, a single butterfly taking residence in your stomach.

It’s too bad Jungkook likes no one more than a character you’ve created.

You’re in English, packing up your school stuff five minutes in advance for the end of the day. It’s Friday, and you’re desperate to get out so you can go home and take a nine-hour nap on your couch. Your notebook has just made it into your backpack when you see Jungkook walking over to you, a happy grin on his face.

“Hey, Y/N,” He says, hands in the pockets of his grey jeans (“They’re a faded black, not grey!” “That’s what grey is, Jungkook!”).

“And why am I being graced with the presence of the one and only Jungkook today?” You ask without even glancing towards him.

“I have a free night tonight,” he says. “Wanna go out to get something to eat?”

“Like a date?” You scoff. “What makes you think I also have a free night tonight, huh?”

Jungkook nearly laughs. “When was the last time you stood me up because you already had plans on a Friday?”

“You got me there,” you say, pointing a finger gun at him as you zip up your backpack. You turn your head ever the slightest, and see the girl who asked him out a week ago, pouting. Jungkook truly has absolutely no shame. “Sure. Where to?”

“How about that Greek place downtown?” He suggests.

“You hate Greek food.”

“I’m trying to broaden my horizons, here. Stop calling me out.”

“Alright then, Greek it is. Dress code? Do I have to wear something expensive, Jungkook? A pearl necklace, diamond ring? Six inch heels?”

“You know what you wore for the awards ceremony last year? Wear that. It looked good on you. Your hair looked nice.”

“Is that what you say to all the girls, Jungkook?” You joke, an eyebrow raised.

“You bet,” he says back. “A good friend of mine told me girls like that kind of stuff.”

“They were right.”

It doesn’t really occur to you that you’re going out on an actual date with an actual boy until your mother asks you where the date is, making you stop dead in your tracks as you fix your hair in the mirror in the main living space.

You’re going out on a date. With your best friend. Nothing wrong with that of course, it’s just that this particular date happens to be very romantic, despite your insistence that what you and Jungkook share is strictly platonic. He’s picking you up, taking you to a moderately fancy Greek place downtown, and the both of you are wearing some of your nicer clothes.

The doorbell rings, and when you peek out of the window, Jungkook’s terribly old car sits outside.

“Look at you,” you say, foregoing any sort of greeting as you open the door. Behind it stands a dare you say, dapper looking Jungkook is a pretty decent getup, playing with the collar of the dress shirt he wears. “I don’t think I’ve seen you dress this nice since our elementary school graduation.”

“Hey, you’re wearing the thing,” he says. “It looks good.”

“It looked good last year, it’ll look good this year. Ready to go?” You ask, grabbing your wallet from the coffee table and wrapping the strap around your wrist.

“Let’s do this,” he replies, letting you link arms with him as he leads you to his car.

Sure enough, at the restaurant, Jungkook turns his nose up at every single dish on the menu, muttering to himself that there has to be something better (there never is). He eventually settles for the saddest salad you have ever seen, while you go for a selection of appetizers you’re hoping to coax Jungkook into eating.

“You’re so uncultured,” you comment as his salad arrives, simply a heap of lettuce with some tomatoes decorating the edge of the bowl. “We’re at a nice Greek place and you get a salad.”

“I hate Greek food,” he says, like that makes it any better.

“Then why did you suggest this place?” You ask, taking a large bite of one of the several dolmades in front of you. “Here, eat this.”

Jungkook scrunches his face up as you shove the fork in front of his mouth, hand under it to catch any drips as you force him to take a bite. He doesn’t immediately spit it out, so you call that a win for you.

“I wanted to focus on you instead of the food,” he says, mouth full.

“Oh, stuff it,” You say, though you can feel your cheeks heating up at the comment.

“No, I’m serious. I feel like we’re losing touch,” Jungkook insists. “We don’t talk as much anymore.”

“We text every day.”

“We don’t talk about deep shit anymore,” Jungkook rephrases.

You chuckle. “Did we ever talk about ‘deep shit’? What’s your definition of ‘deep shit’, Jungkook?”

“Why don’t you ever go out on dates?”

“What kind of an asshole question is that, hey?” You frown, stuffing another dolmade into his mouth.

“I’m not kidding, Y/N. You’re funny, pretty, easy to talk to, you could get lots of dates if you wanted to. Why don’t you?”

“I guess everyone just thinks I’m dating you,” you shrug, like it’s no big deal. The compliments he laid on you are making that butterfly in your stomach lose its butterfly mind.

“I guess they do.”

“How’s Hari been?”

“Good, good. She just finished reading Macbeth.”

“Did she like it?”

“She thought Macbeth was kind of an asshole.”

“I agree.”

“I wasn’t joking when I said you were funny and pretty,” Jungkook says randomly.

“I know.”

By the end of the night, the butterfly has friends.

First things first, you do not have a crush on Jungkook. No way.

Okay, so maybe you have a slight crush on him. But it’s manageable, it’s fine. No big deal, you’ll get over it. Maybe you’re just confused after the mess that was your date-not-date with him. Yes, that’s it. Your brain’s just playing games with you.

The main reason as to why you have to get over your crush as soon as physically possible is because Jungkook doesn’t seem to be giving up on Hari anytime soon. Despite not confessing directly to her, he’s definitely made a show of how much he truly likes her when he’s around you, and it’s not helping your case whatsoever. The faster you stop liking Jungkook, the easier it is to clear up this whole mess whenever you decide you need to.

The Hari thing has been going on much, much longer than you wanted it to, but you can’t stop just yet. Imagine how that would break Jungkook’s heart.

You and Jungkook haven’t really discussed your whole date-not-date since it happened, and it’s been several weeks. Neither of you appear very keen to bring it up, pretending like it never happened. You’re not exactly sure why, though, since it’s been pretty damn clear to the both of you that you’re just friends.

So, you’re essentially stuck, trying to worm your way out of having a crush on your best friend, watching him fall in love with another girl, who just so happens to be you posing as someone else, and the cycle endlessly repeats.

You have to admit, you most certainly did not foresee this when you were eight-years-old and writing a letter to Jungkook just to get him to stop his whining.

Having a crush on Jungkook isn’t all that rare, anyway, since you could probably list ten girls off the top of your head that also fancy him. The problem is that you actually talk to him, all the time, which makes falling for him even worse.

“Coach is letting me have the pool to myself on Wednesday, after school,” Jungkook says while you’re over at his house. You’re actually doing your homework this time, but you can’t seem to say the same thing for him. “Wanna come?”

“Am I allowed?” You ask, sort of laughing. You already know you’re not, but Jungkook’s never been very good at following rules.

“What Coach doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Jungkook reasons, and you take those words as a ‘yes’.

“If we get caught, will you take the blame?”

Jungkook sighs, knocking his head back and into a picture frame, making it fall to the floor. “Why do I always have to take the blame?”

“You’re always the one that comes up with the dumbass idea in the first place,” you retort, but you notice that he’s not really listening to you anymore. When you finally look up from the notebook in front of you, you see that he’s looking at the photo, expression soft and fond and regretful all at once. “You good?”

“What?” Jungkook says, spurred out of his trance as he places the picture frame face up on the floor. A closer look, and you see that it’s the one he framed of the photo Hari sent when you were eight.

“You good?”

“Yeah.”

You motion to the picture frame, pointing the end of your pen towards it. “Has she sent any more photos?” You feel terrible just asking the question.

“No,” Jungkook sighs. “But she doesn’t need to, I mean. I’m not gonna force her. I just wish I knew what she looked like now.”

You’re looking at her, you think to yourself.

“You could use one of those age progression websites,” you suggest jokingly.

“Yeah, and come up with a shitty Photoshop job,” Jungkook says, laughing to himself at your recommendation.

“You really like her, don’t you, Jungkook?”

“Of course,” Jungkook replies, eyes crinkling up at the mere mention of her. “I think she’s amazing. A best friend, just like you.” He nudges your shoulder, flashing his pearly-whites towards you in the warmest of smiles. You take it in, letting the memory of his glowing face sink into your mind, and you think that perhaps, crushing on him isn’t so terrible after all.

Jungkook swims like a maniac. You’ve been to his meets, watched his performances, and he’s like a shark, tearing through the water at almost an alarming rate. It’s no wonder he’s his coach’s favorite, the pride and joy of the school’s swim team. There’s no other way he could be hooked up with free time in the pool. But you’ve never seen him swim just for fun, so you wonder how this could be any different.

“Is it cold?” You ask as you leave the locker room, seeing the boy already doing laps around the pool.

He stops mid-freestyle. “No. But that’s probably the swimmer in me talking.”

“So, it is cold?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?”

What a tempting offer. You tentatively step towards the pool, dipping a single toe in before pulling back sharply, nearly toppling over.

“Holy shit,” you say. “It is so cold. How do you swim in this?”

“You get used to it,” Jungkook says. He swims up to you gracefully, an elegant butterfly from where he stands at the opposite end of the pool. “Come on, jump in.”

“I don’t want to,” you decide. “You said absolutely nothing about the temperature of the pool water.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” he says, pouting. “Just jump in. You’ll warm up straight away.”

“No.”

“Please?”

You can’t resist him. Goddamnit. You inhale a deep breath and brace yourself before jumping right in, splashing Jungkook with the force as you pop your head up, drenched.

“I knew you could do it,” he says, shaking his head, water droplets flying every which way.

You thought Jungkook looked pretty good in his swimsuit from afar, but up close he looks practically irresistible. The water rolls down his neck, shoulders, chest, glinting in the fluorescent light of the indoor pool and making his torso shimmer.

“It’s so cold, I hate this,” you say, arms zooming to your sides as you rub them up and down, moving around slowly in the water.

“You’ll warm up in no time, you know,” Jungkook says. “You just have to get used to the water.”

“And how do you expect me to do that?”

Before your mind can even register it, Jungkook splashes you, letting you stand there, mouth gaping wide, as he cackles to himself.

“You’re in for it now, Jeon!” You shout, barrelling towards him as he begins to make his getaway. You already know you’re toast, since Jungkook could probably lap you if he really wanted to, but you chase him down anyway, fuming.

He’s giggling the entire time he’s running away, stepping through the water rather than swimming, splashing behind him as a defense mechanism. You let yourself get soaked, following the path he makes in the water as the two of you laugh your heads off, a full-on splash war on your hands.

Later, when the war comes to a truce — not an end, it’s not an end until one of you surrenders — you find yourselves in the middle of the pool. You’re lying flat on your back as he holds you up, soft hands pushing onto your skin, like a coach helping a child learn to float. It’s strangely intimate for the two of you, though you imagine any sort of conversation you’ll have will ruin the mood instantly.

“Is this how you charm the pants off of all the girls, Jungkook?”

“Oh yeah, this and splashing them until they’re screaming ‘bloody murder’ is a real smooth move,” he responds.

“I can do this myself, you know,” you remind him.

“I know. I just like holding you up.”

“Makes for a nice view,” you joke.

“Oh yeah? My double chin looking good today?”

“Especially handsome.”

The exchange leaves the two of you in giggles, the low rumble spreading from his chest to his fingers as he moves you up and down ever so slightly. It’s certainly a view, where you float to where he stands beside you, drenched hair, gleaming torso, warm smile.

You wonder if he wishes Hari were in your place.

But you savor this, savor the view and savor the feeling, because platonic or not, it’s something worth treasuring.

“You’re cute like this,” he says, removing one hand from under your back to poke your nose.

“Am I?”

“Very. If you want boys to date you, you should get them in the pool like this.”

You actually at the comment. “As if. I don’t need the school’s ugly pool to attract boys. I’m irresistible.”

Besides, you think, the only boy I’d want to date me is you, and you’re already here.

Remember when you said you’d get over that tiny crush you had on Jungkook?

Liar.

You’re nearing the end of high school, the idea of university and moving away looming over your heads, and you can say with too much affirmation that you have fallen, head over your goddamn heels, in love with your best friend. Nice going.

Unfortunately for you, nothing seems to have changed about the relationship between Jungkook and Hari, and if she weren’t thousands of miles away, he probably would have taken her to prom.

But here you are, a collection of photos of your best friend sitting under your bed, growing by the month as he unknowingly adds to it with each letter he sends. You’ve got photos from prom, winter break, sports meets, summer vacations, stacked up in a careless pile in a box, and you’d be lying if you said you don’t look through them on occasion. There are pictures in here that you, as his best friend, haven’t even seen, pictures meant for someone who he likes, not someone who he hangs out with.

Jungkook’s opinion of Hari hasn’t changed in years.

“She’s wonderful,” Jungkook muses as the two of you walk through the nearest mall. “I feel like I can tell her anything and everything, and she’ll always listen, never judge me. She teases me sometimes, like you do, but she’s easygoing and heartwarming. She’s so easy to get along with, even if we don’t have all of the same interests. I feel like I’ve known her my entire life.”

“Haven’t you, though?”

“Not as long as I’ve known you.”

“But you like her?”

“Well, I mean I like you too,” Jungkook says. “But I just feel that—that thing with her, you know? You know that thing?”

“This must be why you’re in an AP Literature class,” you say, “ your descriptions of things are simply outstanding.”

Jungkook frowns, shoving you a little as he fights the smile growing on his face. “I’m serious, Y/N.”

“So am I,” you insist. “But I know what you’re talking about.”

“Have you ever felt that thing?”

“Once or twice.” The with you goes unspoken, and you’re glad.

“With who?”

“It was when we were children, Jungkook. I don’t remember.”

“That’s fake. Surely you remember your first love.”

“Not really, no.” I don’t need to remember you when you’re right in front of me.

“Well, that’s what I feel with her. I don’t know man, I feel like she’s just the person I was waiting for.”

“So, he thinks she’s funny, easy to talk to, and that it feels like he’s known her for a lifetime?”

You nod along to your friend’s words as the two of you sit on a bench in the local park. You’re lamenting your Jungkook troubles to her, since you obviously can’t go straight to him, and she’s providing insight as to what you should do.

“Sounds like he’s in love with you, not her.”

That makes you bolt up from where you were slouching back, like a dog hearing the word ‘squirrel’.

“What?”

“I’m serious,” she says. “If he likes her for all of those reasons, there’s no reason he shouldn’t like you as well. He basically described you.”

You have neglected to tell her about the whole pen pal fiasco, finding it too long of a story worth telling. The less she knows, the better. She’s already told you enough information, anyway.

“You think he’s talking about me?”

“Sounds like it.”

Maybe he is.

You are Hari, after all.

Maybe he likes you, too.

(Jungkook sits in his room, surrounded by college acceptance letters and textbooks he still needs to turn into his teachers. The blank piece of paper stares back at him as he glares at it, twiddling the pen in his hand.

This is what he writes in a letter to Hari that never makes it into the mailbox:

Dear Hari,

This is going to be a weird opening sentence, but I think I like my best friend. Actually, I think I’m in love with her, but I don’t know how to go about it. She’s been getting a bit distant from me, though I suppose that’s my fault as well, since we’re nearing graduation. What do I do? Do I confess?

I think I’ve loved her for a while know, but I didn’t realize it, hung up on another girl.

I think she’s funny, easy to talk to, and pretty.

But I think you are, too.

Jungkook.

Jungkook stares at the finished letter, wishing that it could respond to him. He crinkles it up and tosses it in the trash.)

The last letter Jungkook ever sends Hari includes a photo of him, his family, and you together at graduation, dressed up in your gowns and caps and grinning happily, and a sentence that catches your eye:

Don’t expect any more letters for a while, if that’s alright. I think I’ll be a bit busy.

It’s unusual for him to take a break from writing to her, the letters being weekly for almost ten years, now. You wonder what he might have in store, but you shrug it off. If anything, you’re glad for the respite. The lying has gone on for too long, anyway.

The two of you stroll along the sidewalk, high school graduates with coffee cups in your hands, passing by the local park. He suggests that you sit down with him, pointing to an empty bench in the distance, before making a dash to it in order to prevent anyone else from taking your spot.

“Can’t believe we’re going off to university,” you say, sighing as you sit down. “It feels like just yesterday you were walking up to me on the playground in elementary school, asking me if you thought the shade under the tree was big enough for the both of us.”

“I remember that. You stood out to me because you weren’t playing ‘Chase the Girls’ like everyone else,” he says, the memory popping back into his head.

“I never really liked that game.”

“Neither did I.”

It’s weird, some kind of out-of-body experience to be talking about your relationship with Jungkook over the years. You feel as though you’re watching yourselves grow up from a third-person perspective, watching you fall in love with him the same way he’s falling in love with Hari.

“Are you doing anything this summer?”

“Packing. Crying. Stressing.”

Jungkook chuckles at your response. “No, anything fun?”

“Hanging with you, I guess?”

“How would you feel about taking a vacation with me?”

You look at him, an incredulous expression on your face. “What, to the beach?”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of South Korea.”

Your mouth drops open, like it’s been pressed down by weights. “Korea?”

“Yeah. It’s been something I’ve sort of been keeping a secret from you. I think it’ll be fun,” Jungkook says, grinning.

“Why Korea?”

“I have family there I haven’t seen in awhile. But mostly, I want to meet Hari.”

If your eyes widen, he makes no comment, but you’re totally, one hundred percent, absolutely, without a doubt fucked. To meet Hari?

The charade ends here.

“You were hiding it from me?”

Jungkook shoots you a guilty smile. You bet you could top it in an instant. “I wanted to make sure everything was in order before I asked you.”

“I’ve been hiding something from you, too, Jungkook,” you say, bracing yourself for the worst while foolishly hoping for the best.

“What?” Jungkook asks, more curious than shocked. You hate to wipe that interested smile off of his face.

“Hari—Hari hasn’t spoken to you since you were eight,” you say, shrinking in on yourself as you wait for his reaction.

Jungkook scoffs. “What do you mean? Of course she has. I sent her a letter just a few days ago.”

“No, she hasn’t,” you repeat. “The person writing you those letters, she wasn’t Hari. She was—”

“You,” Jungkook finishes, and sure, you were prepared for anger, sadness, fury, but you weren’t prepared for the look of absolutely betrayal scrawled on his face as your words set in. “You were writing those letters. For ten years, you sent me things under her name.”

“Jungkook—”

“Why did you do it?”

“I care about you, Jungkook,” you insist, grabbing onto his arm so he can’t leave before you explain yourself. “I didn’t want to see you sad.”

“So you kept it up for ten years? You lied to me for ten years? I don’t think that’s better than me being sad for a day,” he says, heartbroken.

“We were eight, Jungkook! I didn’t know it would turn out like this. I didn’t know you’d start to fall for her,” you say desperately, trying to salvage the friendship you already know you’ve knocked down.

“Still, you couldn’t have just told me? What else did you do, huh? What other things are you hiding from me?” He says, eyebrows raised, not angry, just hurt. How can you do this to him?

You wonder the same thing.

“I’m in love with you,” you whisper. The words settle around you like dust, dust he’s about to walk over and forget about.

“You what?”

“I’m in love with you,” you say again, louder. “That’s what I’m hiding from you.”

“Y/N, you don’t—you can’t just go around telling me that,” he says, and for once his expression is unreadable. “You can’t just say these things.”

“Why not, Jungkook? I’ve lied to you enough already,” you reason. “You ought to know I love you.”

“You can’t just—you can’t just—”

“I can’t just what, Jungkook?”

“I love you, too.”

God, if you thought you had the biggest surprise of the afternoon, he has you beat.

“Can we take a break?” You ask, mind swirling. “We need a break.”

“No, Y/N, we have to sort this out,” Jungkook says, grabbing onto your wrist as you stand up. He won’t let you go without a fight, you know that much. “We can’t just let it go.”

“We’ll sort it out another time, okay? I need to clear my mind. I need to think about things.” You try to wriggle out of his grasp, but he refuses to part with you, keeping you firmly planted to your spot. “Please, Jungkook. I can’t do this right now. Please.”

Jungkook relents.

For a week, the thoughts fly in and out of your head, leaving you dazed and confused.

He loves you.

You lied to him.

He likes Hari.

You were Hari.

You love him.

You lied to him.

Jungkook leaves you breathless without even being by your side.

Eventually, as the new week dawns on you, he convinces you to talk. You suppose you kind of need to, anyway.

He meets you back at the park, same bench, same foofy coffee drink in his hand, grinning as you jog towards him.

“Hey stranger,” he says. “I think this week was officially the most boring week in my life.”

“I don’t think we’ve gone a week in ten years without contacting each other,” you say, taking a seat. “It feels like I don’t even know you.”

“How are you feeling? Mind cleared up?”

“I think it’s always gonna be a bit fuzzy, but I’m feeling better. You?”

“Fantastic, now that you’re here.”

You purse your lips, letting the silence fill the air around you as you think about what to say next.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, catching his attention. “I don’t think I ever apologized to you for lying. So, I’m sorry for deceiving you. I shouldn’t have.”

“Apology accepted.” He beams. “I’m sorry, too. Sorry you had to hear me gushing about Hari when really, I was gushing about you.”

“No, it’s fine, I understood,” you assure him.

“You know, I originally thought I started liking you earlier this year, but I realize now it was a long time before that. I just didn’t know it was you.”

“You still love me?”

“How could I stop?”

And then you’re kissing, pressing your lips together in the heat of summer, sitting on a park bench covered in bird poop, kissing. It cools you down and warms you up all at once. Jungkook tastes like chlorine and coffee and happiness.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” he sheepishly admits when you break apart.

“You can do it again, for all I care.”

He leans into you, noses brushing. “I think I might just take you up on that offer.”

And take it he does.

To say that, post-kiss, the two of you part ways calmly and happily and head home is a complete lie. It’s quite apparent that neither of you can resist each other, sneaking kisses onto each other’s skin the entire way back to Jungkook’s, where he presses you against each wall in his house before you stumble into his bedroom, giggling.

“I’ve never done this before,” you say.

“Never been this close to me, hey, Y/N?” He says, winking.

“I’ve been this close to you before,” you say, thinking of the time he tackled you on this very floor. “I’ve just never been kissed while doing it.”

“There’s a first for everything,” Jungkook tells you as he presses you into his mattress, pulling off his shirt in one fluid motion.

If anything, his body’s only gotten better since the last time you saw it, floating in the school’s pool.

“That there is.”

Needless to say, he gets even closer to you. Toying with the hem of your shirt, he takes it off, relishing in the view below him as he presses his lips wherever he can, from your lips to your collarbone to your bellybutton.

“God, I knew I wasn’t kidding when I said you were pretty,” he smiles down at you, and you giggle, slapping his arm. “You’re gorgeous.”

“You’re stating facts, Mister,” you respond. “Get me out of these clothes.”

He is more than willing to follow your orders, ridding you of your bottoms and flinging them to his bedroom floor before moving his lips down even further. His nose is right by your drenched center, and he smirks to himself as his fingers hook onto your underwear.

“Ah, wait,” you say, tugging lightly on his hair to catch his attention. “You too, you know.”

Once the two of you are fully naked, reveling in the glory that is each other, Jungkook presses his body into yours, making you gasp at the feeling.

“Do it again,” you whisper into his ear, begging. He is happy to oblige, letting you grind down on him as you openly moan, brokenly moan.

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do this,” Jungkook admits, honest and whole and nervous. 

You grin, letting your eyes rake up and down his body. He’s beautiful. He always has been. “I think I have somewhat of an idea.”

In order to wipe that cheeky grin off your face, he presses a kiss to your lips as he slides home, making you sigh at the feeling.

“I’ll go slow, alright? Neither of us have a very good idea about how to do this,” he promises, and you nod as you feel him pull out, little by little.

He gets a good rhythm going after a while, enough to make you moan with each thrust but not to hard to cause either of you any pain, and it’s not long before the both of you reach your highs, climaxing with gasps and promises escaping from your lips.

Afterwards, when the towel he came in with to clean the two of you up is hanging over his desk chair and you are lying comfortably in his bed, head resting in the space between his arm and his chest as he pulls you in close, he whispers.

“Do you think you would have still fallen for me without Hari?”

“Do you?”

“Can you stop responding to my questions with more questions?”

You giggle into his skin, warming the spot. “I think we were meant for each other.”

“Yeah,” he says. “I think so, too.”

“You know I love you, right?”

“You know I love you, right?”

“And here I was, the one who responds to questions with more questions,” you joke, earning yourself a flick on the forehead, followed by a kiss to the exact place where his fingers met your skin.

“I love you,” he tells you.

You snuggle in closer. “Yeah,” you say, the words feeling like falling asleep after years of being awake. “I love you, too.”

You sit on the airplane as you watch it drive away from the gate, rolling along the tarmac to where it will take off. Next to you sits Jungkook, already dozing off despite having only been on the airplane for less than an hour. He rests his shoulder on your chest, little snores escaping from his lips. You worm your hand into his and he makes a noise of satisfaction as you prepare to head to South Korea.

The butterflies are back. You hope they never leave.

⇒ leave any feedback/requests here and check out my masterlist here!

[eating-rocks]

all of them (or as many as you wanna do)

I’m really tierd so the spelling is probs crap

Ask Away

1. What is you middle name?Sofie Elisabet

2. How old are you?19.5 years

3. When is your birthday?March 24th

4. What is your zodiac sign?Aries

5. What is your favorite color?Pink, orange, green

6. What’s your lucky number?7

7. Do you have any pets?Two cats

8. Where are you from?La suecia

9. How tall are you?162cm /5´3″

10. What shoe size are you?Heels-EU: 37 UK:4 US: 6 ½Normal shoes- EU:38-39 UK:5-6 US: 7 ½-8 ½

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?Like, 5

12. What was your last dream about?No fuckning clue, my dreams are weird. 

13. What talents do you have?Idk. I can cook….and I’m sort of good at art. Well, there’s the beading, of course. Uhhh, that’s about it14. Are you psychic in any way?Don’t belive in that kind of thing15. Favorite song?Non atm16. Favorite movie?Fantastic beasts…. prehaps17. Who would be your ideal partner?Someone who doesn’t get annoyed when I’m being weird or when I’m having a trust issue episode. And they also need to get sarcasm and like puns18. Do you want children?Nope, and I can’t have them anyway19. Do you want a church wedding?Yes20. Are you religious?Very21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Like, 20 times in the past 2 years22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?No, I’m a good girl23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Youtubers only. 24. Baths or showers?Shower first to get clean, bath afterwards to relax25. What color socks are you wearing?One black and one grey26. Have you ever been famous?Lol, fuck no27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?No28. What type of music do you like?All29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?Yes30. How many pillows do you sleep with?1+Sana31. What position do you usually sleep in?Geko 32. How big is your house?Me and moms appartment is 107m^2 and has 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms+a 100m^2 yard with a glass porch. I’t pretty nice, but has too much hallway

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?I have the same smoothie every morning34. Have you ever fired a gun?No (I’m so tired I read finger gun at first)35. Have you ever tried archery?No but I want to, there’s an outdoor archery range about 500m from my house 36. Favorite clean word?uh, idk37. Favorite swear word?Fuck38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?~36h39. Do you have any scars?Tons of small ones40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?No, not that I know of41. Are you a good liar?Probably not42. Are you a good judge of character?Not sure43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?Nupe44. Do you have a strong accent?I don’t think so45. What is your favorite accent?Don’t have one46. What is your personality type?Idk. me??47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?A harry potty hoodie from wb studio in london48. Can you curl your tongue?Yes49. Are you an innie or an outie?Very innie, it’s almost gross50. Left or right handed?Both. I hold a pen with my right hand, though51. Are you scared of spiders?Fucking terrified

52. Favorite food?Sushi without raw fish53. Favorite foreign food?Same, I guess. Sushi counts as foreign, right54. Are you a clean or messy person?Both. I’m clean, but I’m also constatly exhausted55. Most used phrased?“Fuck you“ probably 56. Most used word?Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?about 10 minutes58. Do you have much of an ego?No, I don’t think so59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Bite. I’m gay, I don’t suck on things60. Do you talk to yourself?Yea, all the time61. Do you sing to yourself?No62. Are you a good singer?I’m terrible63. Biggest Fear?Being dead. I don’t fear dying, I fear leaving loved ones64. Are you a gossip?No65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?Dunno66. Do you like long or short hair?Both67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Lol, nope68. Favorite school subject?English69. Extrovert or Introvert?Wallflower 70. Have you ever been scuba diving?No71. What makes you nervous?Life72. Are you scared of the dark?Yes73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?Depends on if the mistake has consequences or if it’s just a slip up74. Are you ticklish?YES!! I WILL kick your teeth out if you tickel me, though75. Have you ever started a rumor?No76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?Not really77. Have you ever drank underage?Ish78. Have you ever done drugs?Does prescribed one counts 79. Who was your first real crush?Don’t remember80. How many piercings do you have?0

81. Can you roll your Rs?“Yesh82. How fast can you type?p fast

83. How fast can you run?Not that fast

84. What color is your hair?Purple85. What color is your eyes?All of them86. What are you allergic to?pollen, gluten and lactose87. Do you keep a journal?No

88. What do your parents do?Mom’s a potter and I don’t want to talk about my dad

89. Do you like your age?No, make me tiny again90. What makes you angry?I AM A SMOL GURL FUELD BY RAGE 91. Do you like your own name?yes

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?I’ve thought of fur-baby (pets) names. 

Female dog: KeelahMale dog: LomerrynBrown poodle: Makkachin or VicchanOrange cat: Nugget or pumpkinRagdoll: PotyaNorse forrest cat: YuuriBengal: Yurio

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? don’t want kids

94. What are you strengths?idk

95. What are your weaknesses?Everything

96. How did you get your name?It’s the name of my maternal great grandmother97. Were your ancestors royalty?Hell nah98. Do you have any scars?I’ve answer this already99. Color of your bedspread?White-ish100. Color of your room?white

TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI

1: What are you wearing?Socks, panties and a sleeping mask

2: Ever been in love?Yes3: Ever had a terrible breakup?Hell yeah4: How tall are you?162 cm5: How much do you weigh?~85 kg6: Any tattoos do you want?The deathy hallow symbol, a picure of my cat, some bible verses, ps3 controller, amongst other things7: Any piercings that you want?Septum, navel, snake bites and full ear8: OTP?Viktuuri, otayuri and adoribull9: Favorite Show?none atm10: Favorite bands?none11: Something you miss?Not being stressed out12: Favorite song?None13: How old are you?1914: Zodiac sign?Aries15: Hair Color?Purple16: Favorite Quote?”Back in the day they use to say you will not get far, but now today my insta page looking like post cards”17: Favorite singer?None18: Favorite color?Pink, orange, green19: Loud music or soft?Both20: Where do you go when you’re sad?Tumblr21: How long does it take you to shower?5-10 minutes22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?10-15 min23: Ever been in a physical fight?No24: Turn on?Raspy voice25: Turn off?Braging about dick size/experience in bed26: The reason I joined Tumblr?”Lol, why the fuck not”27: Fears?Insects, hights, death, darkness28: Last thing that made you cry?Life

29: Last time you cried?A few days ago30: Meaning behind your urlMe name and birth year31: Last book you read?Hamlet32: Last song you listened to?Tempeture-Sean Paul33: Last show you watched?Modern Family34: Last person you talked to?Mom35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?Childhood friend36: Favorite food?Sushi37: Place you want to visit?Non38: Last place you were?Home???39: Do you have a crush?Ish40: Last time you kissed someone?10+ years ago41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?Don’t remeber42: What color underwear are you wearing?stripie white ones43: What color shirt are you wearing?Non44: What color bottoms are you wearing?non45: Wearing any bracelets?nope46: Last sport you played?Uh…..47: Last song you sang?Dunno, don’t sing much48: Last prank call you remember doing?Haven’t really prank called

49: Last time you hung out with anyone?A few weeks ago50: Favorite movie?Fantastic beasts

[byunbells]

11 Questions Tag

Rules:

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger.

Write 11 questions of your own

Tag 11 people

I was tagged by @vanillabyun @freckledksoo and @ratbyun thank u loves !! <3

This is super long so its all under the cut!

Questions from @vanillabyun (im screeching u did 12 questions on accident dw ill answer them all)

1. What is your middle name?

lol its Nicole <3

2. Favorite season?

FALL!

3. Favorite EXO album or repackage?

its complicated.... i would say the lmr repackage but i feel like power of music is abt to destroy that so ??

4. If you could only spend the rest of your life surrounded by one other person, who would it be?

I was gonna b sentimental and say my mom but...... bbh

5. Breakfast for dinner or dinner for breakfast?

ahhhh it depends on what the food is oops i dont eat breakfast ever so i would probably go with breakfast 4 dinner

6.  A place you want to visit?

I’ve already been but my favorite place to visit is Paris (im a hoe 4 history)

7. What would you change your name to if you had the chance?

honestly? would just change my name to my middle name (nicole) mostly so ppl dont ask me what gwen is short for anymore (its not short for anything)

8. You biggest dream? 

realistically... being able to travel as much as i want n have money i guess. the biggest dream is me snuggled up on a couch with hot chocolate while bbh plays the piano and sings 4 me tho

9. You favorite dessert? 

cheesecake! or anything mango flavored 

10. Movies or dramas?

dramas! I’ve never rly liked movies bc I dont get attached to the characters

11. Favorite color?

dark shades of purple.. i feel like purple is underappreciated

12. The eve or artificial love?

i would say the eve, but i’m a fake and artificial love is probably my most played exo song to date so idk

Questions from @freckledksoo

1. How did you get into exo? 

I slept on them until lmr comeback and then cried over the album until Ex’act came out and then i joined the fandom... the #1 reason i got into exo though was bc of bbh (also jongin a lil bit) in call me baby so yeah

2. Favorite genre of music?

R&B, but i’ve gone through numerous alternative phases, pffft i only listen to exo atm tho

3. Are you an organized person? 

im that person who tries to be organized and is motivated by cleanliness and boxes to put ur pens in, but eventually it turns into chaos.. the only consistent organization i have is not leaving things on the floor

4. Most underrated exo song?

HEAVEN 

5. Who is your bias wrecker and why?

erm im the most loyal so i dont really have one, but ksoo. yixing and pcy are the members i cry about the most besides bbh

6. Do you believe in personality types, astrology etc?

i definitely believe in personality types and to some extent in astrology, but we shouldnt put expectations or judgements based on types or signs (sometimes ppl take it too far n its annoying)

7. Favorite thing to drink?

water!!!!! <3 im not healthy though im a fake

8. Growl or Call Me Baby?

growl.. bc i still get overexcited about it when it comes on n i do (a really bad version of) the dance

9. What are some of your talents/achievements?

i draw things sometimes and im in uni so thats an achievement i guess

10. Best and worst hairstyles on your bias?

this is impossible .... the best hairstyles on bbh were all the ones from exo’luxion and i have to say the worst was the perm from wolf, but lbr.. bbh can pull of any hairstyle

11. If you could pick one of the members to be your friend, who would it be?

besides the obvious answer of bbh... minseok or ksoo 

Questions from @ratbyun 

1. If you had to get any exact tattoo that a celebrity has, what would it be?

i just realized most celebrities dont have like.. any good tattoos? so i guess it would be some thing like that flower eyeball tattoo that brendon urie has.. but honestly not even that lmao

2. Washing dishes or folding clothes?

I used to love washing dishes but then i learnt how to fold clothes real fancy and since then i kinda like folding clothes.. but also..... i avoid both

3. If they already aren’t, would you think your ult would make a good leader?

i think bbh is better at setting the mood and making sure everyone is happy than keeping people under control.. so absolutely not. i also wouldnt want him to have to sacrifice any part of his personality to be a leader (bc his wild self is perfect)

4. What’s the first song in your music library? The last?

its alphabetic so its starts with 4 Walls and end with a Monsta X song with a korean title. but out of the playlist i actually listen to (not alphabetic) its starts with artificial love and end in hey mama!

5. If you had to choose one your favorite celebrity hairstyles to have for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

idk i really like my hair :( but so i guess whoever has a better version of my hair then.. long wavy dark brown/black hair and doesnt look like its dying of thirst

6. Would you ever get a face tattoo? If so, what would it be?

the closest i would probably get would be behind my ear n it would be like some boring flower thing or smth

7. You have a choice of two piercings on your whole body, what are they?

erm a regular ear piercing (i never had mine re pierced so i just dont wear earings lol) and a lip ring

8.  What is your laptop/phone bg?

pfft on my laptop its the group pic from kokobop and my phone lockscreen is bbh from that one recent magazine photoshoot i think and my homescreen is the bbh teaser photo 4 pom

9. Was the last thing you ate a meal or snack?

snack!! i ate popcorn

10. What song got you into your favorite band/group?

idk whether it would be call me baby or lmr, i dont really remember that well

11. Last movie you saw at the cinema? Rating?

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 i think 10/10

Now here’s the hard part where i have to make up questions...

1. Favorite solo/collab song from any exo member?

2. Favorite slow exo song? 

3. How many pillows do you sleep with?

4. Favorite disney movie?

5. How many albums and posters do you own?

6. Something about your ult that is underappreciated and you wish more people paid attention to?

7. Have any unpopular opinions about biases or ults? (Ex. bbh stans and mullets)

8. Do you like going to the beach during the day or at night (or not at all)?

9. What concerts have you been to?

10. If you had one day to spend with a person of your choice, who would it be and what would you do?

11. How often do you dream and what do you normally dream about?

I tag @oshnverse @poutydaes @squishy-do @94-hun @ylxlng @baekhyuneeeee-exo @ehanyeol @starsehun @royalyeol (totally not 11 people but its 3 am) sorry if u didnt want to be tagged, only do it if u want <3

[jaehyunsleatherpants]

                       Angels In The Weeping - Disney AU

img credits

Genre: Angst (idk how much though), Smut

Summary: enchanting the Prince is one thing…

Words: 3.1k 

A/N #1: ok but the Little Mermaid is literally my favorite movie like ??? ok I think it’s cuz I got this crush on Prince Eric…

Pairings: Prince Eric!Jaehyun x Disguised Ursula!Reader

“

Her daddy’ll love that. King Triton’s headstrong, lovesick girl would make a charming addition to my little garden.

”

You made it your life’s mission to ruin that bratty princess’ life. Her beauty merely irked you; in fact that didn’t bother you at all. It was her voice of all things; Ariel’s melodic voice could enchant anyone, even a coral. Even the mainland Prince. Prince Jaehyun. You had your eyes out for him, from the day the storm hit. You watched his unconscious body tumble into the salty waters of the sea. You wanted to help him, but it went against your morals. That was until the princess saved him, your anger fumed at the sight. You watched from afar as her emerald tail sloshed against the waves and onto the nearing beach. You heard her voice; the one you so desired. Your anger rose as she returned to the water, her body gliding with the warm waters. You thought of the Prince, how he was destined to be with a princess, much like the bratty one you despised. You looked down at your body, your large belly stretched against your raven tunic, your tentacles floating as though they had a mind of their own; he wouldn’t want you. A Cecaelia you were, a monster in the eyes of the merfolk; the forbidden fruit no one truly wanted.

You floated around your cauldron, figuring out how to get her voice; to no avail. You thought about how you would describe it to in a conversation, but the only company you had was the writhing polyps outside your abode. You took pride in the polyps, the plants writhing as if they couldn’t fulfill their promise. You chuckled, as that’s exactly why they were there; your fingers brushed against their corally limbs, shying away from you. You smiled at them, bearing your giant fangs. They seemed to scurry into themselves, tiny screeching sounds echoing. You sighed, moving back into the darkness of your sweet home. Your pet eels hissed and moved against each other, electricity sparking off their tails. They whispered amongst each other, cackling and mumbling. You wondered what they were saying, when they suddenly bolt up; slithering through the gentle waves of the cavern. You guessed they sensed danger, gone to take care of it; their loyalty something you were proud of too. They were your friends, telling you about the world outside your territory, about the still glistening city of Atlantica; the reason reside into the carcass of a worse monster. You brood about the times you were King Triton’s advisor, banished for practicing dark magic against the King’s orders.

You heard the hissing again, along with the silent whispers of your wonderful pets; maybe here to tell you of a way infiltrate and bring down King Triton and his pesky family. You sensed their arrival, but felt the presence of something too… pure. You smirked evilly, knowing EXACTLY who was walking through your front door.

“Come in, come in, my child,”  You sad as you emerged through the darkness of your hiding spot, seeing the poor princess hesitate to enter. You tsked, shaking your head in disapproval,

“We mustn’t lurk in doorways, it’s rude,” you sneered, “you might question your upbringing” you turned your head away, taking a seat by your vanity. You admired your purple complexion, running your long fingernails through your hair. Your pets swam their way back to you, perching themselves next to you endearingly.

“Now you’re here because you have a THING for this Prince fellow,” you chuckled as your rubbed gel in your hair, the princess standing silently. “Not that I blame you,” you turned back towards her, your heartbeat increasing in speed. Now was the time. “He is quite a catch, isn’t he?” you exclaimed, cooing at the enamoured princess. You sighed, picking up your lip paint; the blush red the perfect color.

“Now, Angel Fish, the solution to your problem is simple,” You stated, painting your lips to perfection. You smacked your lips together, glowing in your self-vanity. “The only way to get what you want… is to become a human,” you eyed Ariel through the mirror, watching her stoic expression change into one of shock. She moved towards you slowly, knowing what she was getting herself into. “C-can you do that?” she questioned, her fingers itching her palms; she was REALLY falling into the trap herself. You wanted to compare her to a dolphin, one that glided with the ocean as one, living harmoniously with nature; but doesn’t know when they could fall into a trap. You turned towards her again, watched her fall into herself.

 You smirked evilly once more, enjoying this WAY too much. You got up from your seat, gliding gracefully towards Ariel, her mane of red hair that floated around her shoulders pushed back from the force of your arrival. You produced a contract; glowing a gold against the dark interiors of your home. It illuminated your face, and you thought it brought out the evil from you. Your pet eels chuckled near you, catching on with the plan. You reached for your shell necklace, twirling the delicate solarium between your hungry fingers. Your throat itched for her voice, the feather pen in her small hands. You watched her try to read it, noting that she had only read the end, about her getting a kiss at a certain sunset and what not; you didn’t want her finding the terms and conditions, a diversion from the bear trap. You snatched the paper away from her, tsking at her attempts of reaching the paper. You let go of the pendant and reached for the tiny princess in front of you, pulling her small frame plush into your large one. You didn’t notice how you towered over her, your unruly shadow cast darkly against her light skin. She breathed heavily, giving up on struggling; you let her go, her body gliding back. You glared at her, willing her to sign the contract, fulfilling your desires.

 You watched her turn away, your lips turning up into an evil smile; your chest heaved as your heartbeat increased in speed. Anticipation pumped through your veins, you watched the contract dissolve into thin air (or whatever it was). Ariel’s tail began to vaporize, her expression displayed her utter shock; yours one of delight. You watched her voice evaporate from her throat, a melodic tone tickled your ears as it traveled into your solarium pendant. You laughed evilly, it bounced off the skeletal structure of the dead monster. You watched Ariel’s unconscious figure float the surface, her body heaving as it rose. You laughed once more, your pets cackling at your side.

You still resided in your cave, enjoying the chase the royal family had put; in hopes of finding their precious Ariel. You kicked back in your abode, watching everything roll out; just as planned. You had won, just as you expected. Days went on, time flew by; and she still didn’t get the kiss. You chuckled every time she failed, the Prince just didn’t realize it was her who saved him. You knew you were gonna woo him someway, but the look just wasn’t right; you needed something that matched the voice. You needed something that matched the sweet voice, a look to compliment the honey smoothness. You relaxed against your seat, closing your eyes to picture what you would look like; you saw yourself with long, flowing brown hair, skin pale as the moon, dress as blue as midnight. You imagined walking out of the waves, capturing the eyes of your darling Prince; you could feel the magic of Ariel’s voice flowing through your veins, pulling Jaehyun into your open arms. You kept a small smile on your face, the thought of your Prince with YOU, it made you happy. You knew it was selfish to want something so great at the cost of one’s life, but you honestly couldn’t care less. You build your whole career on that; in fact you lived by that, which lead to you being banished.

You stared at the mirror across from you, you had no room for admiration. You twirled your finger around, your form shifting into the one you imagined. You liked it, though it didn’t feel like you. You stood up, the large dress you had on slipped from your new body. You took in your naked form, eyeing every curve, every inch; you were stunning. You touched your soft skin, goosebumps forming from the trail your fingers left. You moaned at the feeling, imagining how much better it would feel if it were Prince Jaehyun. You pictured his hands all over you, throwing your head back at the imaginary pleasure you felt, your heartbeat’s speed increased at every thought. You lifted your head back up, taking one last look at your body; you twirled your fingers again, producing a blue dress, noting the room your breasts have to pop out. You slipped your legs into the dress silently, admiring your new legs the way you imagine Ariel did. You watched the dress crumple under the water’s pressure, the silky petticoat brushing against your bare legs. You pulled the dress up, admiring the way it flaunt your perfect chest; your long brown hair falling against it. You pulled a cape on, smoothing your dress out before spinning your way out of the depths of the dark ocean.  

You rose from the water, mist forming around you. You gripped the necklace, shaking it a little to jumpstart the magic. You noticed Prince Jaehyun stand at the top of a sand dune, looking as majestic as ever. Walking out of the mist, Ariel’s voice spread out from the solarium; the sweet sound reaching Jaehyun’s ears. He turned towards you, watching as you stepped out of the mist in all your glory. He dropped the shawl he had around him, his feet following your (Ariel’s) voice towards you. Walking towards you, you caught a glimpse of his face; up close. You felt heat spread to whatever was between your legs, squeezing your thighs together to prevent yourself from dripping. You were familiar with the feeling of arousal, but you never felt it for anyone; much less a land walker, a human.

You felt his magnetic pull, his body inches away from you. You watched the wind brush his flowing hair back, feeling his heartbeat increase with every step he took. He inched towards you, his long steps turned short. The effects of the hypnotization took over him, clouding his mind of any sensible thought he had before; all he could think of was you. You felt the heat radiating off his body, letting the arousal finally dripping down your legs. Prince Jaehyun reached his hands out for you, caressing your faces in his soft palms. You closed your eyes, the feeling of his fingers on you felt so pure; your heart ALMOST melted. His held you in his arms, his hypnotic state didn’t faze even a bit, the voice’s effect even reaching you; a lulled feeling settled in your chest.

He pulled you towards the castle, brushing past Ariel on the way. Her expression said it all; she knew it was you. Her green eyes pierced through your disguise, seeing through your brown locks, and into your monstrous reality. You smirked back at her, wrapping your arms around Jaehyun’s bicep. He paid no attention to her, his lost expression giving away the fact he was under a trace. You pressed your cheek against his chest, looking up at his chiseled face. You desired to run your fingers through his raven hair, the jet black contrasting against his pale skin, his baby blue eyes pulling your morbid soul in. You felt his right arm coil around your waist, your heart beating too fast for your liking. Jaehyun walked you towards his room, the oak doors standing tall on the frame. The articulate designs depicted forest vegetation and flowers you’d find on a mainland garden; unlike yours. 

A strong hand pushed the door and before you knew it, your featherweight body was thrown onto the king-sized bed; you snickered at the irony, a prince in a king-sized bed. He stalked towards you, his predator gaze sending shivers down your spine. His body moved smoothly, you could almost compare him to a lion; you, the deer. Jaehyun’s eyes shifted from its usual baby blue to a stormy hue; complementing the electric tension that hung in the air. He finally reached you, his hands pushing your dress and petticoat up to your waist. His eyes reflected your own; the lust pooling on your waterbed in the form of tears. You leaned back on your elbows, Jaehyun’s weight pressed against your hip bone. He reached for your chest, feeling your flesh through the satin dress; his eyes darkened further, resembling the midnight sky. He pressed his hips harder against yours, causing your body to shiver from the pleasured shock. You moaned loudly, the Prince’s lips curving into a sinister smirk; one you had seen yourself have before. 

Prince Jaehyun pushed your body further up the bed, your torso pressed against the silk sheets. His lips pressed against the top of your dress where the skin was visible from, his hands untying the laced ribbons to loosen the dress. Your heart felt like it would leap out of your chest, the immense pleasure you felt from this was unbearable. You felt Jaehyun’s cold hands sneak up your thighs, the icy burn sending your nerves into overdrive; your core shivering from the closeness. You lifted your torso to an angle, your near-bare chest pressing against his clothed one; His hot breath tickling the nape of your neck, while his fingers brushed against your quenched folds. Jaehyun’s lips left feather kissed along the skin of your neck, crossing the sharp edge of your jaw bone, pressing your blushing cheeks with his nose; and finally reaching lips. He tasted of salt and berries, the intense mixture of flavors sent your mind into system shutdown; your hands finally reached to tear away his white dress shirt.

When he was finally bare chested, you started leaving harsh marks on his soft skin; the feeling of his blood rushing to the surface made your fluids rush even more. Jaehyun’s hands pushed your dress above your torso, caressing the smooth expanse of your new slender body. You lifted your arms towards the headboard, and within seconds, your dress was off. You felt the chilling tension against your skin, goosebumps forming along your belly. Jaehyun took his time admiring your body beneath him, a low, carnivorous growl ripped through his vocal cords; a sly smile curved his lips deliciously. Jaehyun moved in speeds countering that of light, his fingers working its way to remove his dress pants. You felt the warmth of his body against yours, your legs wrapping around his slender waist; pressing his hard on against your slick core. His lips sealed themselves against yours, heat spread down your neck, and down to your throbbing folds. Jaehyun pressed his hip bone against yours, detaching himself from the kiss; a string of saliva still connected your lips.

“You ready?” He questioned, his voice echoing a whisper. Your lips reached for his cheek, pressing a kiss on the dimple that formed. You nodded, your fingers preparing to claw against the expanse of his broad back. With a swift, but smooth, move of his hip, he entered your yearning cavern; you moaned loudly at the sensation, your walls clenching around him. Jaehyun held you close, his hands handling your face with utmost care, the affection burning your cold blooded veins. You hissed as he started moving, developing a steady rhythm your body could handle. Jaehyun’s large hands reached for your breasts, his thumbs rubbing against your sensitive nipples, heightening your senses. Your toes curled against the balls under your feet, your ankles knotting together against Jaehyun’s tailbone, causing his thrusts to stutter. You squeaked under the pleasure, the bed mirroring your sound at the force of his thrusts, the deep groans erupting in spurts from his chest. His hands left your chest alone, leaving a malicious trail of blood curdling goosebumps down your torso, reaching your sensitive pearl and labia. Jaehyun’s index finger pressed against your clitoris, your head kicking back, leaving room for his head to nestle his canines into; fingers rubbing your clit in figure 8s, his biceps flexing at the strength of holding himself up. 

You reached your arm up, placing them around his shoulders, feeling the flexing of each muscle and vertebrae as his thrusts picked up. He reached deep, searching for a certain spot; he finally found it, your (Ariel’s) voice reached octaves higher than it could. Your chest heaved as his thrust speed increased to full capacity, pulling himself out and slamming his length back into your tight hole, hitting your sweet spot consistently; the never ending pleasure shooting up your veins. Heat spread through your lower abdomen, sweat formed around Jaehyun’s hands as he pinned your hips further into the mattress. His hips stuttered against yours, and you knew he was close. His fringe stuck to his sweaty forehead, his electric eyes bore into your dark soul; pulling on it like a magnet. Your long nails dug into the tight skin on Jaehyun’s back, earning you a hiss. You whined loudly, the coil inside threatening to burst; you brought his lips towards yours, biting his lower lip to conceal your screams. You finally came, your walls clenching around his length in violent spasms, feeling him growl the the feeling. Jaehyun’s thrusts slowed down a bit, feeling his seed spill deep inside you, making your stomach seize at the warm sensation. He slowly pulled out of you, spraying your thighs with the remaining cum from his high. You both watched as his seed spilled out of your used folds, the erotic sight making you moan. He collapsed against you, his sweaty body sticking to yours, a low grunt leaving his dry mouth as his body collided with yours. Your arms held him tight, your breathing returning to its regular pace; your body stopped shaking, the aftershocks of your orgasm leaving your near unconscious body. Jaehyun’s still body flipped to your side, his right leg tangled around yours, his arms draped against hip bone. His face nuzzled into your neck, kissing at the masterpiece his teeth left, nipping and licking at the blue and purple bruises. You turned your back against his smooth chest, feeling his slow breaths lulling you into a gentle sleep.

 Your eye caught something outside the window, the grey sky reflecting the previous electric tension in the room. Flashes of lightning hit the warm waters of the sea, churning the electricity against the water. You let a smirk settle against your abused lips, you knew it was the beginning.

                                                 A storm was coming.

A/N: I actually had to read up about and watch the Little Mermaid for this sIGH !!!!! but I really hope you guys like it!

I know there is a lot about the reader’s character in the beginning, but I was tryna build the story from somewhere. Also I’m terribly sorry there isn’t much dialogue too :(((

[outsidercade]

You gonna hate me but,,, 1-102? *devil grin* love you ❤

Oh my god OKAY HERE WE GO, 1-102 IN RESPONSE TO THIS 
(Putting it under a cut because this is gonna be LONG oh boy)

1. Favorite season?Definitely fall! It’s got my birthday and perfect temperatures!

2. Prettiest thing you own?Probably my cats lmao

3. Do you prefer to be outside or inside?Honestly it really depends on my mood and the weather and such, but probably inside on average? I’m not sure

4. Furthest ever traveled?I live in Michigan and I’ve been so Japan so I’d say that’s p far

5. What’s your aesthetic in 3 words?It really varies

6. Favorite gemstone?Ooooh uhh… probably bloodstone? It’s hella pretty look it up !

7. Best thing about yourself, in your opinionMy drawing skills

8. Best thing about yourself, in other’s opinionNothing lmao uhh hHHHHH I’ve been told that I’m very empathetic, understanding, and easy/fun to talk to?? 

9. What’s your weirdest fear?Idk if this counts as a fear, but I’m p paranoid about doors and people entering rooms I guess? Like I can’t sleep unless I face the door and I feel really uncomfortable sitting in places where I can’t see every entrance to the room at a time

10. Weirdest dream you’ve ever had?OH MAN well okay uh when I started reading the Harry Potter series in like 7th grade I had this dream where I was like Harry but with wings instead of arms and bird legs? And the dream had the perspective of an RPG or something with a health bar and everything and I had to fight Voldemort in my backyard under my trampoline. Also at some point I ran into my teacher at the time in a hospital in said dream so that was p damn weird

11. Go-to hiding placeAnywhere small, but not too small, where i can be completely hidden without somebody opening a door or latch or something12. Favorite place in your houseLmao my room13. Earliest memoryMy earliest memory is from being on a cruise when I was four and getting really mad at my parents because they saw some dolphins outside and I wasn’t there to see them xD14. Do you believe in ghosts?I’m honestly not sure15. Favorite sea creature?I have no idea so I’m just gonna say sea cucumber or cuttlefish because both are sea creatures that I adore !!16. Cold showers or hot baths?HOT BATHS ALL THE WAY17. Satin or lace?I adore lace so like,,,, definitely that18. Gold or silver?I personally like the way silver looks MUCH better but at the same time there’s The Outsiders and it’s whole kink with the color gold so likeeee,,,,,, idk man19. Hoops or pearl earrings?Pearl20. Aesthetic songShelter by Porter Robinson and Madeon

21. Top 5 songsUHHHH DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE BRUHBut uhh at the moment I guess it would be, in no particular order,1- Another Day from Rent2- Michael in the Bathroom from Be More Chill3- Grease (Is The Word) from Grease Live!4- Beautiful from Heathers5- Nandemonaiya from Your Name

22. Favorite time of the day?Early morning and/or late night

23. Favorite part of your body?Again nothing lmao but I guessss my eyes????

24. Do you drink alcohol?I’m fourteen years old and also allergic to beer so I mean

25. Dream job from when you were a kidI don’t want to do this anymore, but when I was a Smol I really wanted to start a pet-sitting business in my town xD

26. Messy or clean?It depends tbh. Likkkkke my room is messy af but I’m super overprotective of some things and will like stab somebody if they get a book of mine dirty

27. Tea or coffee?I don’t really like either but I guess tea?

28. Favorite bookTHE OUTSIDERS THE OUTSIDERS THE OUTSIDERS TH 

29. Zodiac sign?Libra all the way B)

30. Extrovert or introvert?I think I’m more of an extrovert, but it’s hard to tell

31. Celebrity crush?I mean there are a LOT of celebrities I could look at and be like “oh yeah that person’s hella cute!!” but I don’t think I’ve ever had a real celebrity crush

32.  Early bird or night owl?Both lmao

33. Do you believe in love at first sight?I want to but ehHHHHH not really

34. Favorite book quote Honestly I,,,,, don’t have one. I’m super bad at remembering quotes and things like that so I don’t have a favorite book quote ;;

35. Three wishes you haveI’m gonna sound like a greedy bitch but1- To have better grades/be better at life in general2- To be more wealthy3- To get my dream job

36. Do you believe in magic?I have No Idea

37. Do you believe in soulmates?Not really, but I do believe that there are certain people who will definitely be more compatible by nature

38. Zoo or aquarium?I LOVE ZOOS

39. Cats or dogs?I love both but I’ve never owned a dog and I grew up with cats sOOO I’d probably have to say those

40. How many languages do you speak?English is my first language so there’s that but I also know a tiny bit of Japanese?? Not really enough to count it as knowing another language tho

41. How has your life changed from last year?I’ve developed a p bad social anxiety disorder this year so there’s that?

42. Why do you have your name/url?I’ve got my name just because my parents like it, and I have my url because if you couldn’t tell I’m obsessed with The Outsiders, and ESPECIALLY Johnny Cade xD

43.  Do you keep secrets? How well?I definitely try my best to, but I tend to accidentally let things slip without meaning to on occasion,,,

44. Favorite animal?I HAVE A LOT SO, AGAIN IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER,1- Caribou2- Kangaroos3- River otters4- Birds in general lmao

45. What is love to you?UhhHHHHHHHHH I have no idea how to interpret this question but,,,I don’t know, I guess love, platonic or romantic, is when there’s somebody who you trust and feel really comfortable with, and who you enjoy spending time together with and uhh. I guess that? I don’t know, I apologize 

46. Future children name?I don’t really want kids and if I did I’d adopt, so idk

47. Favorite colorPurple! ^^

48. Favorite movieTHE OUTSIDERS THE OUTSIDERS THE OUTSIDERS TH

49. Cuddles or kisses?I’m a slut for cuddles tbh so definitely that

50. If you could have any person in the world over for dinner, who would it be?I have. No Idea

51. Someone to bring back from the deadMy cat Persion who died last fall ;;

52. Lipstick or lipgloss?I don’t really like either very much tbh

53. Are you street smart or book smart?I’m just not smart lmao

54. Your biggest strengthI’m super nice and friendly, so I guess there’s that

55. Favorite sportVolleyball!!

56. Favorite drink?Just plain ice water lmao

57. Favorite winter activity?I LOVE sledding like oh man I get super sad if I miss the chance to go

58. Last time you went abroadWhen I went to Japan in November!

59. Favorite dessert?OKAY I FUCKING LOVE THOSE DOUGHNUTS WITH THE CUSTARD INSIDE AND THE CHOCOLATE ON TOP THOSE ARE THE FUCKING BEST

60. Favorite artistI don’t necessarily have one but I guess I really love @ikimaru because her art style was a HUGE influence on me while I was developing mine and also her art is just Super Gorgest

61. Favorite singer/bandI don’t really have one, I’m kinda just obsessed with Broadway music in general

62. Favorite dancing songI don’t think I have one?

63. Favorite crying songFinale A, Your Eyes, and Finale B from Rent (I can’t find any good videos of the original Broadway cast recording of this and I don’t like the movie version so oops ;;)

64. Do you wear glasses?Yep, have since first grade!

65. First thing you do when you wake upCheck my phone lmao

66. How long do you usually sleep for?It varies a lot but probably about six-seven hours on average

67. One thing you lost and you want backI can’t think of anything off the top of my head I’m Afraid

68. Biggest fearBeing unsuccessful in life and/or being hated/alone/forgotten 

69. Favorite carnival rideI’ve only been to one carnival ever but there was this thing that flipped you around a lot in a lil cage-like thing and I LOVED that !

70. Do you have birthmarks or scars?I get injured a lot and have a bad habit of picking at scabs, so I have a lot of little scars everywhere

71. Favorite childhood memory?Probably when I first got my kitten Kivu in fourth grade, he’s a Good Boy

72. What do you think about during a storm?“wow that sure is one cool storm”

73. One word to describe your life?What

74. Craziest thing ever doneOnce when I was little I tried to wake up my Dad by throwing a hamster at him xD

75. Do you have piercings or tattoos?I don’t have either currently, but I might be getting my ears pierced later today!

76. Favorite flowerI don’t think I have one 

77. Do you have any pets?Yep! I’ve got my rabbit Tamaki, and my cats Ginger and Kivuli ^^

78. Describe your style??????

79. Choose one thing to change about yourselfThe way I look prolly

80. Do you play any musical instruments?I used to play cello, but I don’t anymore 

81. If your life was a movie would it be a comedy, a rom-com, action film or drama?Probably a comedy or a drama? ?? ?

82. Do you prefer dark, dramatic makeup or natural makeup?I like both a lot, it really depends on my mood or the person !

83. Favorite perfumeEw No Thanks

84. Biggest fandomCurrently probably The Outsiders? I’m not sure tbh

85. Favorite Youtuber(s)No particular order again lmao1- Game Grumps2- Markiplier3- Nostalgia Critic4- PeanutButterGamer5- SpaceHamster

86. OTPOH BOY UHH UHHonestly I love so many ships in so many different ways that I don’t think I could choose !!

87. Country, state where you were bornMichigan in the US ^^

88. Your parents’ namesCarol and David

89. Favorite snackI love waaayyy too many snack foods to choose!

90. Pasta or pizzaPASTA ALL THE FUCKING WAY

91. Pen or pencilI definitely like pencils a Lot more

92. Blue or black inkBlack !

93. Paper books or electronic books?I am a slut for paper books tbh lmao

94. History or geography?History is WAY more interesting to me 

95. Pastel or neonP A S T E L !!!!!

97. Soap or body wash Uhhhhhhh…. Shrug?

98. Conditioner, no conditioner, or 2 in 1 shampoo & conditionerI honestly haven’t used any conditioner in years,,, ;;

99. Singing in the shower or notSometimes !

100. Listen to music while bathing or silenceBoth, it depends on what I’m in the mood for xD

101. Blow dry, towel dry, or air dry your hairA combo of towel and air unless I’m in a rush or something

102. Morning or night showers?DEFINITELY night 

THERE YOU GO, ANON, 1-102 

FUCKIN ENJOY 

[sylveon-of-heart]

Omg okay I’ll try!!

1. Stomach

2. Depends on what song I was last listening to

3. My favorite pokemon is sylveon, and my classpect in homestuck is a sylph of heart, so I just squished them together

4. Moth boy moth boy  M O T H  B O Y

5. The girl I had a crush on in middle school suggested it, and I just sorta got sucked in

6. My Little Pony

7. Pokemon or Steven Universe, I guess

8. Don’t You Want Me by the Human League

9. I don’t know, I haven’t been on very much today

10. Snaaaaake!!!

11. Grown cats, they don’t get adopted enough.

12. Country music. It’s bad and no one can convince me otherwise.

13. Uhhhhh I’m not really a villain type

14. Sylveon, aka my baby!!

15. Buddy I think I already met my true love, but if I had to do it different, maybe just him asking me on a date instead of asking if we were dating

16. Smores PopTarts, they’re just so warm and comfy

17. Mad Psychologist. My creation that turns on me would be someone I gave advice to & it didn’t work out probably

18/19. I don’t really have any favorite tropes

20. I wish there were more shows lounge Steven Universe

21. The girl who “stole” the bones (I say stole in quotes bc she says she didn’t, but)

22. When I was younger, I was a huge crybaby, and I would hide & cry under tables

23. Skeleton statutes, prints, anything like that

24. Ehhhh there are no pens nearby

25. A sudoku zombie apocalypse. I’ll live.

26. Anxiety

27. I had a pimple on the inside of my eyelid. It was kinda gross

28. Well, sylvie can’t talk, so

29/30. Nope

31. Charlie, Sandra, Benny, Terrence, and Hector. Hector gets to sleep on the bed

32. A stuffed brown dog named Rex, he’s somewhere in my room.

33. “You got bleached out eyes from the valley sand And the black tar palms keep weeping your name” - LA Devotee, P!@tD

34. Ahhhhhh I’m not caught up on the fan media

35. Amethyst and Lapis, they could both hate everything together

36. Bone hurtin juice

37. Showers

38. Her name was Keila, and she was just a huge bitch. She got everyone to call me this shitty nickname, and would over-exaggerate everything to try and get me in trouble.

39. Biker gang, either 2 rival gangs that have a bunch of secret taboo couples, or one that’s just a huge polyamorous group.

40. Orange or purple

41. Night in the Woods, still haven’t played it

42. None, I guess

43. Lone Digger - Caravan Palace. Party crazy friend convinces their boring other friend to come out to a club, shit gets crazy

44. ahhhhhh this is cheesy but @catfury my boyfriend makes me really happy

45. Not knowing what the heck I’m gonna do after graduation

46. https://youtu.be/y24v9Xyoz0A

47. I had a recurring nightmare as a child where I’d see my great grandparents playing the piano, and I’d look to the right, and Elmo would be standing there. He’d pull a lever and a trap door would open up beneath me, and I’d fall into an endless rectangular pit that was the purest color blue.

48. I don’t watch movies I think I won’t like

49. Why grape ice cream doesn’t exist. Ask separately if you want to know.

50. Cold

51. When I was little, they’d spank me.

52. That I wasn’t cool. There’s a lot of things I don’t like about myself, but I definitely think I’m at least a little cool.

53. The only ones I can think of are sad,,,

54. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck

55. Red - raspberries Orange - Doritos Yellow - Lemon desserts Green - salsa verde Blue - blue raspberry icee? Purple - berry juice

56. I’d live in someone’s house, probably not doing pranks, but things like folding laundry or watering plants.

57. Sculpting

58. I can clean (inside) really well. I’m also good at doing makeup, but I don’t wear any

59. When people shake my desk. Also I crack my joints a lot, so that probably bugs people.

60. Dinos!

61. I don’t really fight?

62. Oliver!!!! God why do you have to be so beautiful with your stupid puppy face!!!

63. Cremated and have my ashes turned into a record of my favorite songs.

64. https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/terminal01/2011/3/31/10/enhanced-buzz-5527-1301582032-1.jpg

65. Pajamas, brush my teeth, watch a lil tv or read, and go to bed.

66. Humor, kindness, and acceptance

67. Peacock, a snake that was like 6ft long, and a lot of deer.

68. McFuck

69. Fuck aliens, marry dinos, kill dragons I guess

71. P-dizzle, McNerd, Midget Mom, slime, idk any more

72. Shorts

73. Body Like a Backroad. 1, it’s country. 2, my parents play it at full volume. 3, if you listen to the words, the guy thinks he’s being smooth, but really he’s just bad at sex and isn’t listening to the needs of his girlfriend.

74. The love & support of my friends

75. I was to young to know any better, but I picked up an earthworm and wrapped it in a paper towel, and was going to take it home to keep as a pet. It died after like 3 hours.

@fluffy–moth thank you but jesus I’m tired, this took up 80% of the drive home. ♡♡♡